150 Things I'm Not Allowed To Do On Mount Olympus
by Taayluur
Summary: "You're right, Ares! Things have been boring! Let's shake it up! I'm taking this list to a monumental scale!" Apollo, Ares, Aphrodite, and Hades beamed up at Hermes."Bigger and better than before! 150 things I'm not allowed to do On Mount Olympus!"
1. Prolouge

_Wheo! Wheo! ATTENTION! This is a __sequel __to a story I already wrote so, I suggest you read that one first. It's called __**150 things I'm not allowed to do at Camp Half-Blood**__. You don't have too, but hey, I suggest you do! Cuz don't come crying to me when you don't get anything. _

**Prologue:**

Connor and Travis were frantic as they entered Olympus. Bad news, their dad found the list. The list they made recently actually.** 150** **things I'm not allowed to do at Camp Half-blood**. Travis let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding, and entered the throne room with Connor. Their father, Hermes, was standing there, his arms crossed. Connor remembered the last thing he said to Lou Ellen, daughter of Hecate, before he left. "If dad kills me, make sure my stash of Playboy magazine's disappear." She remembered how she rolled her eyes. Probably not one of the smartest things to say to your girlfriend before you die.

Dad inhaled through his nose. He was probably pissed at them. "Boys," he said flatly, his face red." I am so," here it came, the godly lecture. "Proud of you!"Connor and Travis raised an eyebrow, and relaxed a bit. They let their breath in relief. That was close. "Never in my life have I seen such pranking brilliance by that of mere ammeters," they frowned, distasteful towards been called amateurs. "This- This- list... its bloody brilliant! The dynamics, the flow, the creativity, the comedy, it's beautiful." There was a tear in his eye. Daddy was so proud of his little boys.

Suddenly, Aphrodite came in with Ares, and drool formed in the twin's mouths. She was forever 21... Literally. "They truly are their father's sons."

Then the twins heard a snicker, "Ain't that the truth?" The twins wheeled around to see Hades, ugly as ever- pale and gaunt, hovering over them.

Connor frowned. "Nice to see you, too, Corpse-breath." He remarked.

Travis added a snarky comment to his brother's clever retort. "Hey, what happened to the McJagger look it works for you?"

_Humph_, he sneered, and moved away from them, indeed going back to the McJagger look.

"You know, it does look quite well on him, no?" Aphrodite asked no one in particular, scratching her chin.

"Hmph, Hermes. Are you _crying_?" Ares snickered, a simper on his face.

Hermes snapped up. "No!" He snapped, wiping away the evidence, when he was abruptly interrupted by-

_Bam! _Apollo had smacked opened the ornate marble doors, and hollered. "I'm here! You may now _bask _in my awesomeness!" He strode into the room, with a spring in his step.

"If it isn't the _hottest _god around." Aphrodite commented. Apollo smiled at her pun. Apollo did enjoy puns.

"Now, I have called you here today," Hermes said. "To Consult with you, a list! Read this!" He threw the copy of _150 things I'm not allowed to do at Camp Half-Blood _at them.

They crowded around Hades, who caught the list. There where snickers, and outburst of laughter emanating from them, occasionally snickers. Aphrodite singsonged with _awwww_'s, while Ares rolled his eyes. Sometimes even "In your faces!". Sometimes they were flushed with anger, but mostly laughter. Lots of laughter.

"See look at this, the demigods are having more fun than us. After war, Olympus is _boring_."

"You're right Ares! Things have been boring! Let's shake it up! I'm taking this to a monumental scale!" Apollo, Ares, Aphrodite, and Hades looked up at Hermes. Their cheeks hurt from laughter. "Bigger and better than before! **150 things I'm not allowed to do on Mount Olympus**!"

Their eyes widened, and their faces where smug. This was going to be…

Totally awesome!

**Author's Note: **I'm back bitches! Hehe, let me just say for Apollo. I picture his voice to sound like Kronk from the emperor's new groove, especially when he says _I am so awesome _when he corrects that haiku in the book. Don't you agree? Yes, no? Blah, blah, to the serious stuff. I need to ask you all if you thought everyone was in character? Because that's the point of the story kind of.

**Everything belongs to Rick Riordan. OC free story. **


	2. Rules 1 to 10

**I shall not super glue Zeus's godly ass to his holy throne. It's just plain immature.  
><strong>Aphrodite, Ares, Apollo, and Hades could not even contain their giggles as they entered the throne room of Mount Olympus. Hermes rolled his eyes- _Amateurs_, he thought to himself.  
>This fit of giggles made Zeus suspicious as he entered his magnificent throne room. If there was one thing he knew for sure it was that Hades and Ares do not giggle.<br>Zeus sat in his chair, and the fits of giggles only grew wilder. He glared at Hermes, who seemed content, not smug, or mischievously smirking. So he must have not been responsible for this-  
>Or maybe that was that was what he wanting him or think…<br>Or maybe he had to listen to Hera more often when she ranted about his paranoia problems…  
>He snickered. And Hera wondered why he was unfaithful?<br>Oh yes! Hera. That was what he was here to discuss with the other gods. Hera had gone _missing_, and the new threat of the giants was looming over their heads- or maybe right under their noses. Zeus explained this in the most unfeeling way possible.  
>To Zeus's surprise, so of the gods were <em>relived. <em>"Oh Bloody Hades," Dionysus-god of coke- had said, heavily breathing. Hades scowled at him in an interval between giggles. "For a moment, I thought this was something _serious."_  
>Zeus had frowned upon this, but over eons had learned well to ignore such remarks.<br>Snapping back into reality, Zeus managed to announce, "Gods," he paused- to get that dramatic effect that was _jus_t right. "Disperse." He let out a breath he seemed to be holding forever. He shifted his weight to proceed getting up from his chair, but… he could not. The four gods that were in hissy fits of giggles burst into full hoards of laughter- Aphrodite even _snorted. _Hermes let out a snicker, and Zeus scowled at the god of mischief. Damn him.

**I shall not insult the epicness of the Automatons it front of Hephaestus.  
><strong>Hephaestus was beaming, watching his golden automatons glisten in the radiant sunlight.  
>A familiar feminine snicker came from his left. He scowled over to where the voice was coming from. It was Aphrodite. "Ugh. Who made these stupid automatons, anyway?"<br>**3. I shall not ask Aphrodite how she has so many kids the same age.  
><strong>Mr. D groaned, but was happy to return to Mount Olympus after an exhausting day of work at Camp Half-blood. He needed to complain. That always made him feel better.  
>Aphrodite raised an eyebrow at the coke god as she passed. His back was hunched over, and he had dark circled under his eyes. Perhaps he was drunk; after all such a state would only be fitting for the god of insanity and wine (coke, temporarily). "What's wrong?" She asked sweetly.<br>Dionysus cocked his head up to face her. He frowned. He asked a question Hermes posed to him earlier, "_How _in Hades do you have so many kids the same age?"  
>Aphrodite rolled her eyes- this was a common question among the gods. Nevertheless, explainable. She took a deep breath and answered, <em>"[The contents of Aphrodite's answer have been revoked from . The gods of Olympus and its affiliates at Fan-fiction refuse to be responsible for any internal disturbances or mental scarring<em>]"  
>Dionysus suddenly wished he hadn't asked. His eyes were wide, and his face was as white as Edward Cullen's sparkly ass. He shot up from his seat. He gulped, and responded in to her in a struggling, weak voice. "Excuse me while I go barf."<br>Aphrodite had a sweet simper on her beautiful face. She enjoyed freaking the Hades out of people more that Artemis enjoyed making jackalopes out of people.  
><strong>4. I will not ask Artemis to teach me how to make Jackalopes.<br>**"Okay, so what _is _a jackalope?" Hermes asked Artemis, goddess of the hunt. Aphrodite recently did tell him that Artemis enjoyed making Jackalopes- whatever they where, but hey the word sounded funny so _why the fuck not? _He thought.  
>Artemis sighed. Why were boys so incoherent? Jackalopes? C'mon, it was a common animal, no? "It's cross between a rabbit and a mouse." She explained.<br>"Awesome." Hermes responded, high-handedness in his voice. Artemis frowned upon such slangs only men as immature as he brother would use.  
>She decided it was best to disregard his poor choice of words. "Now, making jackalopes is indeed a well complicated art-"<br>Hermes giggled. "You speak like a British person."  
>Artemis's glare was like daggers. Hermes decided it was best to keep his mouth shut. Artemis rolled her eyes. He didn't honestly think that, Artemis lied to herself. Men and their stereotypes, "As I was saying!" She said haughty, "It requires much patience and is nev-"<br>"Is this safe?" Connor, son of the same mischief god, asked, worried. His dad wouldn't put him in any serious danger… would he?  
>Artemis scowled, her face flushed with anger. "Quiet, boy!" She snapped.<p>

**5. Even if a good comeback, Artemis should not be taunted for looking like a twelve year old.  
><strong>"Artemis!" Hermes called after her; she was stampeding down the halls of Olympus, her face tomato red. Hermes bet she was having her godly 'time-of-the-month' or something. "I'm sorry if I offended you."  
>"<em>If! <em>You _did _offend me, you insolent man! Never in my life have I seen such immaturity!"  
>"I'm immature? At least, <em>I don't look like a twelve year old!"<br>_**6. Implying in any way that Apollo is better than Artemis when it comes to archery is not a good idea.  
><strong>"Okay, sis, how could _you _beat me in Archery?" Apollo said with _that _all-too-familiar smirk of arrogance that Artemis had come to loathe so well.  
>It seemed to her face would stay tomato red for the rest of forever- like it was now. "You wanna know how?" She screeched her voice an octave higher than usual. "I'll thrust the arrow through your hallow head! That's how!"<br>**7. ** **Throwing tampons at Ares while on the break of a mental breakdown will not ease the problem.  
><strong>It was evidential that Hermes was right about Artemis's ever-so-holy 'time-of-the-month' , which inspired him for the next rule. Proceeding execution of rule 7, he had taken the liberty of raiding Artemis's quarters. He was in the mood for a good raid, anyway. He could only remember the last really good raid vaguely. Anyway, Hermes put his particularly good finder' skills to good use, and found what he was looking for.  
>Now he was sitting in the immaculate throne him, the Olympian council all in their thrones, poised, but also bored. Ares was in the center of the room on the verge of another anger management breakdown. For any typical person, it would have been their Hades-on-earth. Yet the gods saw it as conventional thing that happened all the time. On the other hand, Hermes saw Artemis's 'womanly dilemma' and Ares's 'Anger issue' as an opportunity to make things a bit more…<em> interesting<em>, today.  
>Ares was rant rage fully when he felt a <em>pang. <em>Then, another _pang_ came from his left. He turned on his heels to the left. He found himself facing Hermes, who was smiled brightly, his eyes crinkled. Ares frowned. He _must _be responsible.  
>Ares's cluelessness made all the gods laugh- except Hades who rather snickered or sneered than laughed or giggled.<br>Ares turned back to Hermes to see a white stick flying towards his face. It hit him in the nose, and fell to the ground. The god of war picked it up, it was wrapped in a thin, white, flexible plastic wrapper with the words _Tampax _upon it in yellow. He squinted to read it, "Tampax?" He asked no one in particular, still clueless as can be. "What the fuck is this for?"  
>Aphrodite smirked, and whispered something in the clueless bald man's ear, the explanation of what that white stick was.<br>After receiving this information, Ares immediately dropped the white stick, his face pale as can be.  
>The gods erupted in laughter- even Zeus who was known for his lack of a sense of humor.<br>**8/9. Suggesting to Hestia to give Ares anger management class **_**is **_**good idea, nor shall refer to Hades as anyone from a book.  
><strong>Hades nodded as he looked at the latest rule on the list. "Hermes that isn't half bad of an idea, brilliant even. For an insufferable _brat_ like yourself."  
>"Why thank you, Professor S-" Hermes said, but caught hold of himself. "I Mean- Hades."<br>"Professor?" Hades raised an eyebrow at him.  
>Hermes looked down, adding something on to Rule 8. He did this as he said so, "Oh, it's nothing. It's just you remind me this guy from a book I read." Hades rolled his eyes, and crossed his arms. Frankly, Hermes couldn't remember a time when his arms weren't cross in some kind of distain. Hermes changed the subject, "Hey look there's Hestia now."<br>"Hestia, we w-"Hestia immediately cut Hades off.  
>"What? No hello?" She responded, being the goddess of home and hearth, Hades guessed that was just like a <em>thing<em> with her.  
>"Hello," he said flatly, scowling at her. He offered his hand.<br>Hestia smiled warmly, and shook it. "Hello, I'm Hestia. Nice to meet you!"  
>"Hestia, we have alread-" He caught a hold of his words, and realized his shouldn't be long-winded and get to the curter point. "Nice to meet you," He said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Hestia seemed to disregard his distaste. "We were wondering if you could give our 'friend'," He put air-quotes around friend, and found himself rolling his eyes upon saying it. "Ares, anger-management classes."<br>Hestia eyes widened. "Oh my Hades," Hades scowled. Why did everyone have to use his gods-damn name in vein? Why not say 'oh my Zeus'? Why did his name have to be catchy? "That's brilliant! Why didn't I think of that sooner! Hades, you're a genius!" Hades simpered. It was about time someone saw his _true _potential. "Why did I think of that sooner? I must find him at once." She disappeared on the spot, leaving a small puff of smoke behind.  
>"Staples," Hermes said plainly.<br>"That was easy." Hades added.  
><strong>10. I shall not ask for Artemis's opinion on Justin Bieber.<br>**Artemis was in the same room as Aphrodite. Aphrodite was one _insane_ bitch, and Artemis loaned to get out of the room, far away from her. Aphrodite was just a disgrace to feminism.  
>Artemis rolled her eyes as Aphrodite was preoccupied admiring her complexion in her make-up compact. The goddess let out a deep breath, exasperated by such behavior. Artemis crossed her arms across her chest. The goddess of the hunt was about to turn to leave when Aphrodite spoke up, "Isn't she Justin Bieber dreamy?"<br>Now, Artemis could have turned, ignored her, and walked away, but we all know Artemis was too stubborn for that. She turned to face Aphrodite, and raised an eyebrow at her. "He looks like a fucking twelve year old." Artemis usually wasn't one for cursing, but after the stress of today, it just seemed appropriate.  
>Aphrodite shrugged, not making eye-contact with her. "Well," she paused, and examined Artemis. "So do you. Perfect matches if you ask me, honey." <p>

**Author's Notes: **I've determined that Hades character should not be 'gloomy'… It should be sarcastic, pessimistic (Spelling?), and Snape-like. Sorry everyone, I went "On Hiatus" because of end-of-term exams which are _tomorrow. _Luckily for you guys, I tend to _procrastinate. _So I'm "On Hiatus" for the next _four days. _No fan-fiction posting. That's my pact! So... Wish me luck! Anyway, Then in three days I have _Summer Break! _Tear. Tear. I graduate junior high in three days! I'm _so _sad! I wanna be… Forever Young! Do really want to live forever? Forever, forever?  
>Damn… I'm going to go listen to that song… But not the Jay-Z one… The original one by Alphaville!<br>_Reviews make pranks go out of hand… Ideas?  
><em>**P.S.** Sneaky, sneaky reviewers! One of you sly dogs have figured out what the [possible] threequel was going to be (the user who figured out pen-name starts with _The_) 


	3. Rules 11 to 16

**Authors Notes:** Feel Lucky, Just for you I blew off my science final and still got a 100%. Yes, when I say I'm going on hiatus. I can't go on hiatus. Hehe. So hear go go...

**1. I shall not introduce Zeus to any mortal T.V. Shows.**

Poseidon, and Hades managed to sit through an entire episode of mortal T.V. Well, just Hades, Poseidon fell asleep. Hades elbowed his brother in the ribs, and Poseidon had awakened. Hades pointed to his brother, Zeus. His eyes were wide, and his finger nails were buried into the leather of the couch. The ending credits of the show were flying across the screen.

"Well, It looks as House M.D. has a new fan." Poseidon snickered nudging his brother.

Hades laughed.

"That is him!" Zeus said, like someone had gotten him high on Pixie stix.

"Who?"

"House M.D., the god of asses." Zeus said as a lightning bolt of inspiration had been sent upon him.

Hades snickered. "You do realize House is a fictional character."

Zeus frowned, and sunk into his seat. "Damn, them mortals."

"Those mortals," Then, Poseidon touched his lips in shock. "Holy shit, Athena is rubbing off on me."

Hades became confused. "Uhh..." he raised an eyebrow at Poseidon. "In which way?"

Posiedon's eyes widened at this disturbing comment. "Excuse me, I have to go barf."

"Or make-out with Athena!" Hades said through a cough. He had the idea for the next rule.

Zeus disregarded this banter. His eyes followed Poseidon as he exited, and as the sound of the shutting door resounded in the room. Zeus beamed and Hades gave him a funny look. "You know what, brother. I've realized I've been neglecting you!" Hades looked uncomfortable. Why was Zeus... Like... Actually considerate of other's feelings? "You can be the god of asses."

Hades frowned. Figures.

"Sssssh!" Zeus hushed him.

"I didn't say anything."

"Glee is on!"

**2. I shall not imply that there is any type of sexual tension between Poseidon and Athena.  
><strong>Athena and Poseidon were yelling, and Hermes snickered as he and Hades watched with deep amusement. Their banter was quite fun actually. "You know what you are just bad- like- all the way through to your core!"

"Well, you're an_ idiot!"_

Poseidon stuttered for a while. "You should pull your head out of your ass!"

"Fuck you!" Athena shouted, making sure all of Olympus could hear her. He face was red with an exhilaration of pure anger, and she stormed away.

"You know you want too!" He called after her, smirking. "Long and hard!"

"I _loathe _you!"

"Right back at you!"

Hermes shrugged. "What you call loathing, I call _sexual tension_."

**3. I shall not ask Poseidon what he has against Japan.  
><strong>Hermes sat on his throne, though the throne room was empty. He put half-moon spectacles on the crook of his nose, and whipped out the newspaper. He held up against his face.  
>Poseidon walked by nonchalantly, but was stopped when Hermes called after him. "Poseidon, my boy," Hermes often talked down to people like this. It just made him… him, but unlike the rest of the gods he didn't have his head in his ass. "Can you explain this?"Hermes shoved the clot of papers in Poseidon's face. Poseidon looked over-whelmed by the amount of print on it. "Well, boy?"<p>

"What?"

"WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST ASIANS, FOOL?"

Poseidon squinted, looking closer at the headline. _Earthquake in Japan devastates millions, lives lost, home destroyed._

**4. saying "Going green" is just a fad is not a smart thing to say in the presence of Demeter.  
><strong>Ares came in wearing his green camo pants as usual, while Hermes game in with this whole hippy get-up. They acknowledge the presence of Demeter, god of the harvest.

Aphrodite snickered at Hermes outfit. "_Puh_-lease! You know "going green" is just a fad?"

Hermes nodded, completely buggered out. "It's all a whacked out conspiracy!"

Demeter eyes widened, and they were also full of rage. "What?"

Ares quickly added something, "I do not knowing what he's been smoking."

**5. I shall not compare Poseidon to Spongebob. That's just far-fetched.  
><strong>"Give me that." Hermes said, as he snatched the photo of T.V.'s favorite sea sponge. "No, Apollo, Spongebob's eyes are blue. Poseidon's are sea-green."

Apollo frowned. "Same th-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Aphrodite bitch-slapped him across the face. "It is most certainly not!"

Poseidon raised an eyebrow at them. "Are you honestly comparing me to SpongeBob?"

Hermes lightly slapped both his cheeks. "You have his rosey cheeks."

Hades snickered. "Indeed you do brother."

**6. I shall not use the internet to find new ways to annoy Zeus.  
><strong>"So… This youtube tool?" Hades asked the god of mischief, leaning over his shoulder. "How does it work?"

Hermes continued to type random stuff. "Well, you search things you like… Like… Ducks!"

"I like ducks." Apollo commented, shrugging."

Hermes type the word, _Duck. _He pressed search, he clicked on the first result: _The Duck Song. _

"_The duck walked up to the lemonade stand, and he said to the man, running the stand 'Hey, got any grapes? Got any grapes?'"  
><em>Hades nodded, clearly impressed. He suggested a new search for the trio to browse upon. "I like the color black. Search Black."

Hermes shrugged and did as he was bidden. He clicked on the first result: _Rebecca Black- Friday.  
><em>  
><strong>6. Rebecca Black's Friday is officially banned from Olympus.<br>**"_It's Friday!Friday! Gotta get down on Friday! Everybody's getting ready for the weekend, weekend! It's Friday! Friday!"_

"SHUT UP!" Zeus yelled with the fury of thousand suns.

"_Friday! Friday!"_

He decided to cave. There was no use trying to fight. "Damn Aphrodite and her pop-culture." He muttered to himself.

**Author's Notes: **In other words, I stared a fan page on **Facebook**. I feel Professional. Here. I'll post update, and shit. (dot) com/pages/Taylur/107997079290517 obviously make the dot a real dot (.) and add press the like button! Here, you can ask question… see updates on why I'm not posting how far I'm done with chapters. Or even share the stupidness of my day with you. Just to make you laugh. Tell me in a review if you're going to check the page out.

**I felt bad for not posting, so I wanted to get this out fast. Sorry, Only 6. Next Chapter I'll do fourteen. I ran out of ideas. HELP! Writer's block!**


	4. Rules 18 to 30

**Rules 18 to 30**

**18. Introducing Ares to Black-ops is never a good idea.**

"BOOM HEADSHOT!" Hermes heard coming from Ares room. He opened the door, and peered inside. His plan was in-action.

**19. I will not sign Hades up to be a CIA interogator.**

The crimnal's palms were sweating, and he bit on his lip so hard it started to bleed. He took deep breaths. The door opened. A man- with a remarkable resemblence to Macgagger- strode in teh room. He banged his hand on the table, making the convicted person jump in his seat. Hades shot him a glare like a dagger. A look that could kill.

"Okay, I confess!" He shouted. Too easy.

**20**. **I will never say micky mouse is better than shamu in front of posideon.**

"Zeus!" Poseidon stood up in the Olympian meeting. They were deciding there Vacation spot. "Sea-world!"

Hades scowled. "Ah-no! No, no! Shamu... scares me."

Athena nodded in agreement. "Didn't she kill someone get killed a while back?"

"Minor detail. We're gods."

"Yes, but the mortals will be supicous if we just don't die."

Hestia spoke up. "May I suggest Disney world?"

Hermes snickered. "Mickey mouse over Shamu, anyday."

Poseidon's eye widened. "What? How dare you? SHAMU WILL HAVE YOUR SOUL!"

"They have Splash mountain."

"I'm in." Poseidon gaved.

**21. I will not give the gods Ipods.**

"One for you, One for you, and one for you!" Ahprodite beamed. This was going to be good.

**22. I shall not walk in on Posiedon unannounced.**

Hades snickered, as he entered the humble abdoe of his brother. We Hermes has had told him of this rule. He was elated. Who knows what Posiedon did when he thought no one was watching? Hades expected to walk on Poseidon with his hand in his pants! Ha! Wait 'til he told Athena! He turned the knob, and was pleasently surprised to be greeteed warmly by his brother. "Brother! Take a seat!" Poseidon slapped the seat next to him on the fluffy couch. Hades took a seat, expecting Posiedon to have a sort of an alternative motive.

He grabbed a bowl of popcorn for the oak coffe table in front of the them. Hades grabbed a hand full of the buttery fatty food, and stuffed it in his mouth. "Whatca' watchin'?" He gestured to the T.V. that illuminated the

Posideon beamed brightly. "Whale Wars!"

Hades sunk into his seat. There was no escaping now...

**23. You shouldn't tell the Big 3 that the other's children are better.**

"Poseidion! I'm only being _logical_!" Athena said calmly. People did notice that their banter had been cooler these days. The gods had even come to the conclusion that Athena ssecretly _enjoyed _it.

"No! The logical answer is that their the most powerful! Ask Chiron!"

"So... That doesn't mean their more powerful! Little known fact, all your children have some messed up thing about them. Percy went and dipped himself in the River Styx! Herecules killed his wife and kids! Hades, oh Hades, He gave birth to HITLER!"

"Okay, point taken, but what do you have that makes you so special!"

"Hestia gave birth to Abe Lincoln! I can not tell a lie! Freed the slaves!"

"So, no one cares about _history."_

Athena was enraged by this remark. She whipped out a comeback no one could imagine of _beat_ing. "Apollo," Posiedon snickered. What good could come of that git reproducing. "Fathered ALL FOUR of the Beatles!"

Well... Athena had him there.

**24. You shouldn't guzle down wine in front of a Dionysus on restrictions.**

Hades was so bored by Whale Wars earlier he decided to do something less boring. A Wild Party. He began to start grinding up on Aphrodite while Zeus dared him to chugg an entire bottle of wine.

Dinosys cried right on the spot.

**25. I shall not show Willy Wonka to Demeter just to see her reaction.  
><strong>_"I don't eat chocolate. It's DUMB! I eat cereal."_

Demeter beamed.

_Johnny Deep as Willy Wonka's eyes narrow. "Do you know what cereal is really made of?"_

Demeter raises an eyebrow at the T.V. screen.

_The bratty kid shook his head._

_"Pencil Shavings."_

**26. I shall not bombard Poseidon to find out why he hates Japan.  
><strong>"Why do you hate Japan?" Apollo askes, beaming.

Poseidon growled.

"Why do you hate Japan?"

"Leave me alone.

"Why do you hate Japan?"

"BECAUSE THEY'RE KILLING THE DOLPHINS AND WHALES!"

**27. I shall not introduce Poseidon to the whale wars episode of South Park.**

"What an abomnation! Whale Wars is not boring!" Posiedon said to point where his voice even cracked.

"Cartman singing Poker Face? What Bull!" Apollo spat.

"I don't know about you guys, but..." Ares' voice trailed off. "I never liked the Miami Dolphins."

**28. I shall never challenge Hermes to be on COPS!**

A blurred face ran out of Seven-eleven. The gods laughed. For they were enjoying, the same loots of sugar that were stolen.

"Hermes, you're unbelievable." Athena laughed. Posiedon's sense of humor seemed to be rubbing off on her. It was like they each had a piece of each other inside of them. Aphrodite only took note of this, she gooed at them.

Posiedon high-fived her. "Unpredictable, for a better word."

"Well, my collegues," Zeus said, raising his glass. "Only one thing matters today, WE GOT CANDY!"

**29. Then, Introducing Zeus to Black Ops in never a good idea either.**

"Really, Zeus?" Ares said, getting all up in Zeus's grill, yo. "You wanna fuck on this? What's your K/D R?" (A/N: K/D R equals kill to death ratio).

"61!"

"But you 360 no-scopp! That's cheap, okay?

"What? You noob-tube!"

"But... I... I am a QUICK-SCOPPER AT BURGER-KING!"

**30. I shall not set Zeus, Hades, Ares, and Hermes on 4-player Co-op match on a Zombies in a Land Party.**

4 PS3's.

One room.

4 gods.

A Whole Shit-full of Zombies.

"Okay, Hermes you suck." Ares said, thumping him.

"What? I usually play Xbox." Hermes complained.

Hades snickered. "Xbox my ass. PS3, F.T.W!"

Zeus rolled his eyes at there medicroity, as he upgraded from Thunder-gun to a Zeus-Cannon. "On the contrae, I have a weapon named after me."

"As to I my brother, DIE ZOMBIE!" Hades screamed, as he shot them with a Hades.

"BOOM HEADSHOT!" Ares said, quick-scooping.

"Coooommmanddo!" Herme said in a deep voice.

"Oh, that's cheap."

**A/N: And thanks to the 12 of you who liked the fanpage, feel free to contact me there, and if I haven't post in a feel free to check there to see if I hae some exclaimation as to why. here's the link again: http:/www (dot) facebook (dot) #!/pages/Taylur/107997079290517, and I started a fictionpress check there if you would be interested in any of my orginal work. Quick Question: _What T.V. Shows do you think each god would like?_**


	5. Rules 31 to 40

**31. I shall not walk in on Apollo in the shower.  
><strong>Zeus was ready as can be for his daily divine shower. For course, not without the companionship of his divine rubber-ducky.

Yet as he approached his bathroom door, a strange sound was emminating from his shower.

_I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world_

hmmm? What was this? The strange music... Hestitating, he stepped toward his shower curtian.

_Life in plastic, it's fantastic_

He pulled back the shower curtain to find it was... Apollo! He was singing barbie girl, but worse of all he was naked.

"Ahahah!" Apollo sheirked like a little girl.

"Apollo!"

**32. Never get Apollo a wii.**

Zeus was practically going insane from the whole Barbie girl episode with Apollo this morning. The strange song, but now he had found himself listening to another.

_Just Dance, gonna be okay, oh oh Oh!_

Zeus rubbed his forhead. He opened the door from where such a song was coming from.

He peered in the room. Aphrodite and Apollo were... Dancing?  
><em><br>Just Dance, spin that record babe, oh Oh oh!_

"Ok, 1... 3... 3..." Aphordite turned around, and clapped.

"Up, down, side, left, right," Apollo recited, his eyes following the arrows darting across the screen. He turned to Zeus. "Hello Zeus." He greeted him, half-expecting Zeus to be mad at him.

Yet Apollo got a different response. "Can I play?"

**33. Never was introducing all the gods to mortal T.V. a good idea.**

"At ease, everyone. At ease!" Ares said, quite exasperated at all the fighting going on. Yes, being the god of war fighting was fun. But not like this. Especially when the answer as so obvious. "At ease I say! Mythbusters is obviously the best show on mortal T.V. Have you see all the explosions they cause."

Hades snickered, leaning back in his throne."Have you seen the explosions on 1000 ways to die is the question."

Aphrodite rolled her eyes. "Please, what pointless shows! I like shows with love and... Drama...! Like Pretty Little Liars!"

Apollo scowled, and mocked Ahprodite with a better show. "Please girfriend! Glee is drama my friends!"

"I still enjoy Full House." Hestia added calmy, really not wanting to get into such a silly fight.

Well if Hestia was including old shows. Hermes wanted his voice to be heard. "When it comes to old shows the re-runs of Punk'd dominate!"

"People we have established this. Whale wars is clearly the better show!" Posedion whaled, pounding his fist on his thorne.

Athena didn't want to get into the fight as well, but once Posedion spoke up... "Boring..." Athena rolled her eyes. "Jepordy. No contest."

Artemis thought wanted a show that could show just how independent a woman could be. "The Good wife!"

"SILENCE!" Zeus boomed, his voice carrying out throught the bowles of Olympus. "I, with all of my godly power, offically declare Doctor Who the best show EVER!" He putt an extra accent on ever.

The gods let out their breath. For they had no objections.

**34. I shall not tell Athena that Google is smarter than her. Even if it was indirect.**

Hades groaned. "Okay, you know what Athena, Your being difficult," Hades reached into his pocket and pulled out his Android. "I'll just use google it."

Athena's eyes narrowed. "Are you saying that google is smarter than me?"

Hades looking confused, but kept his eyes glued to his Android. "I never said that."

Athena crossed her arm over her chest, and began tapping her foot impaitently. "But it was implied."

"Look," Hades put his hands up inncoently, shrugging slightly. "It's not my fault woman are so wordy."

"Ah-hem." said an icy cough from behind him.

Nevertheless, He found Artemis's foot in his face.

**35. I shall not let Aphrodite hear me say that Megan Fox is hotter than her.**

Ares yawned, quite bored, but then again he was always bored. He looked to his side. Hermes was in his quarter watching a movie. Maybe he should join him, after all he had nothing better to do. Zeus had already rejected his request to nuke Canada. "Whatcha' watching?" He asked, plopping himself on the couch beside Hermes.

"Transformers." Hermes said, his mouth full of popcorn. "Action movie."

Ares nodded, simply impressed. "Nice. Since when do you see action movies?"

"Well, you see that Mortal, over there. "He gestured to a tall girl with Black hair on the T.V. screen. Ares whistled. "That my friend is Megan Fox. Hottest mortal alive."

"Wow," Ares said. "She's almost hotter than Aphrodite."

"What?" Aphrodite said, clearly pissed. Her face was flushed with anger. She looked like she wanted to punch Ares.

Soooo... She did.

**36. I shall never challenge Apollo to a Rap-battle.  
><strong>__"There are 10,000,000  
>Million, million, million, million, million, million, million, million, million, particles in the universe that we can observe<br>Zeus took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd  
>You wanna bring the heat<br>With the Mysarti You driving  
>I'm about to bake raps from scratch, like Carl Sagan<br>___I'm as dope as two rappers  
><em>_You better be scared  
><em>_Cause that means Athena  
><em>_Equals M C squared." _Athena let out a deep breath after finishing her rap. She was quite pround of it actaully. She smirked, and tossed the mike to Apollo surely he couldn't produce a rap as f'mazing as hers.

_"I'm more intelligent than you when I fart_  
><em>Do even know how to spell the word art?<em>  
><em>Please, you belong in special games<em>  
><em>History will regret you like<br>John McCain." _Athena's smirk faded. Did she just get... dissed? It appeared so as Apollo was smirking now, until Zeus stood up. He was a strong republician and would not tolerate bashing of John Mccain.

_"Sit down, son  
>And let me give you a music lesson<br>Ask Hera,  
><em>_I got more cock than Ares and Chiron_**_  
><em>**_Four score and 10,000 years in the past  
>I won the Trojan War with my beard<br>Now I'm here to whup your ass  
><em>_I'm the best  
><em>_I'm the Snoop Dogg of the Olympus  
>Imma bee lighting bolts on your head<br>From the shoulders of giants." _Zeus made shot his middle finger to his son. It was true. He was the best. No one could beat his wrap. He was surprise Apollo even had the audacity to approach him.

_"I'm a giant whose shoulders you'd have stood on, if you can stand  
>I'll give you a brief history of pain with the back of my hand<br>You can't destroy the gods or me, for serious  
><em>_Ripping holes in you**  
><strong>Bigger than holes in Taturus  
>I rather make love to a Smurf than listening to you<br>Head of a Olympus?  
>That's like the Principal of freak-school.<br>you are the sum of everything I despise  
>with the most dysfunctional family since the Jackson fucking five<br>__Now, go to the loo.  
>You've been looking a little constipated<br>You better spend some time with Athena  
>Before Poseidon get's her pregnant." <em>Apollo made a dirty gesture by pushing his hips back and forth. Zeus was stunned, but Poseidon was pissed at the last remark he had made. Posedion took the microphone this time, and rapped about... water...

_"I am Poe-Fucking-sidon!_  
><em>I attack sharks<br>when I smell them bleed_  
><em>I don;t go swimming<em>  
><em>Water just wants to be around me<br>__My fists make the speed of light  
><em>_wish that it was faster  
><em>_Zeus made Mortals slaves  
><em>_But I am everyone's master." _Posedion found himself not even able to finish as his brother Hades had stole the mircophone before he could even respond. Hades wanted to do something different with his rap. An auto-tuning style like T-pain.

_"Yoooooooou've got no idea what here boi  
>I summon people from the dead, that's how roll, ya'll<br>You look Zeus made love to a barbie doll.  
>Not the Disney Version<br>I'm the real O.G.  
>I'll be stretching out the rhyme,<br>__like Kronos freezes time." _The gods were wide-eyed at Hades's raping talents. Who knew he could be so awesome? But to Apollo such skills were mediocre. Apollo quickly came up with a witty come back.

_"Look what the cat dragged back from the dead  
>Man it looks like Chewbacca wiped his ass on your head<br>__This isn't the Underworld, Hades  
><em>_I'd suggest retreating  
><em>_For I invented rap music  
><em>_When my heart started beating  
><em>__Look at you  
>You such an angry person<br>I liked you better in Hercules  
><em>_The Disney Version!." __Hades found himself speech for words. His mickey-mouse alter-ego had mocked him once, BUT TWICE? Hades couldn't possibly come back from that. This time we found Ares at the microphone instead.

_"I'm the bloody god the war!  
>I've spread more blood and gore<br>Than your Maystarti Spyder, bitch  
>I split the sun with a roundhouse kick<br>__I got Aphrodtie in my bed backstage  
><em>_When's the last time your music got anybody laid?." _

Of course Apollo had a comback right up his sleeve.  
><em>"Help<br>you're making my ears bleed  
>you need a muzzle<br>why are you pissed off all the time  
>didn't your mum give you a cuddle?<br>you're the type of guy who could die  
>of a heart attack just in the shower<br>you need to chill out for a minute  
>and smoke weed for an hour."<em>

Ares was down and out. Who else had the audacity to challenge the god of music to rap battle? Aphrodite snatched the microphone from Ares, and rapped her heart out:  
>"<em>Sacrebleu<br>T'as une tête a faire sauter les plaques d'egouts  
>I'm going to shove your gucci boots<br>Straight up your poop shoot__  
><em>_Gosh, I can't believe how much of a little bitch you are_  
><em>When it comes to hot gods<em>  
><em>You like literally lowered the bar<br>____you're ugly, between you and me______  
>there' no comparison<br>I'll beat you so bad you'll want to dissappear  
>like Percy Jackson."<em>__

Apollo simpered. Did she have to make it so easy for him?  
>"<em><em><em>Well, it's true<br>You can't rhyme against someone hotter than you?  
>Why even bother?<br>But, So many dudes been with you,  
>who even knows if Mclean is Piper's father?<br>Your voice sounds like a rooster having sex with a frog  
>they put a lot of lipstick on you but you still look like a dog.<br>You may be Goddess of Beauty  
>but you ain't a lady at all.<br>I've seen those outfits you've been wearing  
>that takes big balls."<em>__

Hephaetus had to hold Aphrodite back from killing Apollo. "Anyone?" Apollo asked, smiling widely. "Who dare challenge me?"

"I!" Said an adolescent voice.

**37. Artemis is the best rapper on Olympus. Don't question it.  
><strong>The Adolescent voice belonged to Artemis no less. Apollo simpered he began his rapp:  
>"<em>Why don't you go have tea-time<br>With your little huntress's and hide  
>Cause this is a rap roller-coaster<br>You're not even tall enough to ride  
>Because my voice is incredible<em>_  
>And your music is terrible<br>I would smack you  
>But in Greece<br>When don't hit little girls,  
>Besides, Everyone knows chicks can't rap."<em>

Artemis was outraged by such a sexist choice of word. It only pushed her to write a better rap.  
>"<em>Oh, boy, look what we have here,<br>a transvestite with a car trying to be idiot of the year.  
>Your stupid boy<br>__you couldn't even handle what I do.  
>I think the truth is, Apollo, my rap just scares you.<em>_This boy's about to see_  
><em>How bad a battle can be<em>  
><em>After this<em>  
><em>Obama Will be voting for me."<em>

**38. I shall not get Zeus to legalize whaling while Posedion is in the same room.  
><strong>"Brother! How dare you? Did you not see what I did to Japan! The Harmless Dolphins and Whales! The horror!"

**39. I shall not drive Ares's motor bike of a cliff.  
><strong>"Hermes! My baby! What did you do to her?" Ares asked, distressed. He rushed to the aide of his precious, bending down beside it. It was broken beyond repair. Metail twisted around metal, bent in ways Ed Harley never intended.

"I'm sorry Ares, but the cliff- I wasn't playing attention."

Hermes expected Ares to punch him. He braced himself for impact, but it never came. He heard a sniffle. "Just. Please. Give us a few moments alone."

**40. Then Host it a funeral.  
><strong>"Friends," Ares said, sniffling as he looked upon the grave of his beloved. "Family, we are gathered here today to celebrate the short life of Bike-y. Any words?"

Hermes stepped forth. "Sorry for running you of a cliff." Hermes said in a monotone, laying a rose on it's grave.

Apollo thought himself obligated to say something. "Although you'll never be as awesome as myserati, I'll miss you."

Ares bent on the grave, breaking into tears.

"Should we just leave him?" Zeus asked, half-concerning for his bald collegue.

Hermes shrugged. "He needs to say his goodbye."

Hades stomach growled. "Aw. I'm hungry. McDonald's anyone?"

**Author's Notes: Rap Battles equals EPICNESS! Lol. I got help from "Epic Rap Battles of History" Look it up. Did you have a favorite rap? Tell me in a review. Plus, Doctor who in there for you. I don't watch it but a lot of you like it. Thank for liking the Facebook page. All eighteen of you. Lol. I feel loved. Anyway, Someone (PersuesPercyJackson) offered to make an M-rated version of 150 im not allowed to do at Camp Half-Blood which excites me. And I've gotten obessed with Habbo Hotel and Pokemon Diamond/Ranger/Platinum/Heartgold/Soulsilver etc. My Habbo User is: Taylor Cullen ! ! (without spaces) Add me and tell me in review. Also, any fav quotes?**

**Plus, My Best-friend got a fanfiction, and is writing the most hilarous. Harry Potter/Glee crossover. Where Rachel and Voldemort get nose-jobs and meet each other at the clinic. It's called "Mutal Nose Issues." I demand you read it!**

**Arggargarsgh! Author's Note too long... must... shut up... Now!**

**No! Wait if I have ever made you piss your pants with Laughter! Tell me now!**


	6. Rules 51 to 60

**41. I shall tell Hecate that her daughter was crushed by a house.**

"I'm really sorry, Hecate." Hermes said, clutching Hecate's arm lightly.

"Huh?"She asked, obviously confused and somewhat supicous.

"We know how hard family deaths can be." Hades reassured her, going along with Hermes.

"FAMILY DEATH?"

"Yeah, we heard Lou got crushed by a falling house.

**42. I shall not spike Ares's Ambrosia with Laxative.**

"Apphrodite!" Ares whined. He had been following her for about an hour now.

"Ares! I am busy! Are you such a horny pig that you can't contain yourself for one hour?"

"Really?" She crossed her arms across her chest, scowling. "What don't I understand?"

"Laxative!"

"The Penis medicine? Ew! Why would you take that stuff?"

"Hermes put in my ambrosia!"

**43. Ask Posiden if he is the Horse Whisperer  
><strong>Iris approached Poseidon (Hermes got a couple minor gods in on the list), she acted secretive as if she were in the CIA.

"Poseidon," Iris adressed the god of the sea. "Is it true you're the house whisperer?"

"Yes. I can talk to houses."

"I got you something."

"Really?"

Iris reached into her pocket, and pulled out sparkly, brand new My Little Pony.

Poseidon didn't want to hurt Iris's feelings. "You shouldn't have."

"You looked lonely. I thought you needed a friend... at least until you until you can get Athena to get in bed with you."

**44. Ask Hectate If Hogwarts really does exist  
><strong>"Hermes! How many times have I told you? That if I told you if there's a Hogwarts I'd break my statue of secrecy

**45. I shall not introduce Aphrodite to the Harry Potter series.**

"No, Ron! You bastard! Arggghgargargh!" Aphordite yelled, shaking a book frantically in the air, looking angry at that.

"Aphrodite... Are you... reading?" Athena asked, pleasently surprised.

"Argh! Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince!"

"Seriously? Aphrodite, I didn't see you as the reading time honestly."

"LAVENVER BROWN IS SUCH A MOTHER FUCKING HOE-BAG!"

**46. I shall not intoduce Ares to the Hunger Games.**

_*spoiler alert!*_

Athena found it strange enough that Aphrodite was caught reading. But now it was Ares as well.

"Argh! Yes! Rip her heart out, Katniss!" Ares yelled, pumping his fist at his side.

"Oh Zeus, Ares? Is that the Hunger Games?" Athena asked. She was starting to like this whole reading on Olympus thing. It was better than mortal T.V. by far.

Ares nodded, clearly too summerse in the novel to manage coherant words.

"Oh, I love that series," Athena said. "I cried when Rue died."

"Fuck that," Ares said, wavering his hand. "I just want to see someone rip another's throat out with their teeth!"

**47. I shall not interrupt Hades when he's listening to music.**

Ares snickered as he watched Hades jam out to wharever song he might have been listening to on his ipod.

"Hades," Ares said, but it seemed to escape Hades notice. "HADES!"

Hades pulled out one headphone. "What are you listening to?" Ares asked.

"Nothing." Hades replied, perhaps a little to quickly.

Ares smirked, and ripped the ipod from Hades hands.

_I like big butts, and I cannot lie._

_Your other brothers can't deny!_

_When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist_

_And that round thing in your face_

_You get SPRUNG!_

**48. Never shall I challenge the gods to a game of truth or dare.**

"Gather around momma," Aphrodite said, as she bid all of the major gods in on the list along with Athena and Posideon. "Truth or Dare!"

"Okay, Aphrodite. We're not twevele." Hade said, unsure about this outrageous idea.

"Yes, indeed," Athena added. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Of course it isn't that's why we're doing it!"

**49. I shall not dare Apollo to run around singing Firwork by Katy Perry, naked.**

"Oh Hades, Don't look." Apollo commanded them.

Of course, they lookeda all the same as Apollo stood in the center of olympus belting,

_Baby, you're a firework!_

C'mon let your colors burst!

Make 'em go, ah, ah ah!

As should've cross the sky, ie, ie!

**50. I shall not dare Poseidoen and Athena to kiss under alcoholic influence.**

"Sure! Why not?" Athena said, walking around dizzingly.

"I've got nothing to lose!" Poseidoen yelled, as the two crashed their lips together.

And of course, Zeus walked in at that moment.

"What is going on here?"

Athena and Posedion broke apart, and Posedioen dragged himself over to Zeus. "Look, Man, It's all good."

"I saw your tongue go into her mouth!" Hades yelled out, wanting to worsen the situation at hand.

"Brother, Are you drunk?"

"Are those hair curlers in your hair?"

"Hera thinks their attractive."

**Author's Notes: Lol. I had too! I had too! I'm a day ahead of schedele and learned how to say bitch-slap in Russian!**


	7. Rules 70 to 75

****71. I shall not annoy Ares.  
><strong>**"Ares, where did you get that axe of yours?" Hermes asked, dubious.

Ares inhaled deeply. Would Hermes ever stop with the questions? It was quite exasperating. "Hephaestus made it."

"Why?"

"I asked him to." Ares responded in a bland tone, as if everything were obvious.

"Why?"

"I was in need of an axe."

"Why?"

"I wanted to decapitate puppies." Ares replied hoping, this would scare Hermes off.

"Why?" Hermes answered, yet again.

_Of course _it didn't.

"I felt stabby."

"Why?"

Then it came to Ares, the way to make him stop. A trick question. "What comes after why?"

"Z."

**72. I shall not use unconvential methods of stopping Apollo's nose from bleeding.**

"Oh Hades," Apollo groaned, waking from fainting. His vision blurred and became unfocused.

"You've got a bloody nose." Hermes explained, leaning over him. Slightly invading Apollo's personal space, Hermes put a something cotton-y up his nostril, with a slightly disgusted look upon his face.

Apollo touched his nose, feeling the weird feeling up his left nostril.

"What did you put in my nose?"

"I had to stop the bleeding."

"What did you put in my nose?"

"Artemis's tampon."

**73. I'm not allowed to steal Hades's staff.**

Hermes twirled Hades staff, using unesscary ninja moves as he had seen Ryan Higa do in _How to be Ninja._

Apollo had come around the corner with a hearty, declious cookie. It was Hermes' weakness, but with his staff and Apollo's stupidity he could probably overcome it.

"Give me your cookie, or I shall us my black magic powers on your face!"

"Not my face!" Apollo said sarcastically. "Pfft... Black Magic. How lame, Hermes."

"Hig-ah-har-jug-Alexandra Daddrio-dooby-dar been."

"What are you doing Hermes?" Apollo asked, feeling a little intimidated, like in the begininng of Wicked's "_No Good Deed Goes Unpunished"._

"Soup-hah-kah-Logan Lerman-fickle-fargen."

"Stop it, you're freaking me out."

"Mickle-Nickle-Brendon T. Jackson-mackle-foohk-en-tee-pee-targen!"

"Okay, dude, not cool."

"Jake Abel-fart-sen-hickle-fickle-hippie-darben!"

"WHO ARE THEESE PEOPLE!" Apollo screamed, unsure whether to be more confused or scared.

"Rain-fart-hee-bee-jee-bee-Steeve-coogan-fee-gan!"

"Okay you can _have_ the freaking cookie!"**  
>75. Zeus's commands can not be raftified by 23 ratio**

"Since Hera, who does all the cleaning and dirty work around here, has gone M.I.A., I believe we have to divide her chores amoung us before this place becomes a total... _shit hole," Zeus announced. "Hades, you have to plunge all the toilets after Ares takes soft-ball sized _holy shit (pun intended) due to an overdose of Laxatives. Artemis, you have to clean Apollo's Mysterti Syder. Demeter, you have to mow all the lawns. Athena, you will have help her pick out weeds, _and Poseidon, _youhave to clean Bessie's tank. Apollo, you can to rub my bunions. Aphrodite, dust all the books in the divine library. Hestia will do all the dishes. _Hephaestus you have to mop the _whole east side of Olympus. Dionysus will do the west. Hermes, you will have to polish the statue's of Hera and I."______

Herems interjected immiedately. "Wait, that's no fair."

"Yes," Hades said, unnerved. "I have no interest in cleaning Ares's waste products."

"I say we vote." Suggested Aphordite, pounding her fist on her throne, similar to a judge in court.

Apollo nodded, then said the smartest thing that probably had ever come out of his mouth. "Since America is now our host I only feel it right to respect it traditions. As the in America, orders are raitified by 2/3 ratio."

Zeus rolled his eyes. "Fine, who votes that we don't do chores and let this place turn into a shit hole."

Not anyone's surprise everyone raised their hand.

**ATTENTION! IMPORTANT! INFO ON THREEQUEL AND YOU DECIDE WHAT'S NEXT!**

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

**THE 150 THINGS THREEQUEL.**

**Okay, Beta apps are closed now. And Eleos is now my Beta! Now, There is an important Poll on my profile where YOU decide the sequel to this. I'm writing a sequeal and One Spin OFF! So... I'll put information about each story on my profile then vote.**

**The spin-off are orginal stories. Chose one.**

**The Sequel are PJato fics. Choose one.**

**There are two choices total..**

**I'm leaving the poll up until we reach rule one hundred.**

**IN OTHER WORDS...**

**Only five in chapter to mark half-way point in story. Which if you remember, correctly means new character.**

**WHO'S NEXT?**

**Who do you what me to turn into a prankster next?**

**THE CREATIVITY PONY HAS ABONDED ME!**

**I seriously need ideas before I go back to googling them. Help!**


	8. Random Ass Chaper with no point

**I missed number seventy four last chapter. so... here it is... It's based off a Mincraft Cartoon on Youtube called Derpcraft.**

74. I shall not disturb Hades' disgnated time for quiet reading.

Hades was quietly reading _Jumping off Swings _by Jo Knowels as Aphrodite had suggested to him. He loved it, he could feel the pain Ellie was go-

"Alright, found myself some coal. Hell yeah!"

Hades let out grunt at the absurd disturbance Hermes had caused. _Anyway_, he felt like he was there. Ellie's pain was almost his - a teen girl going through a unplanned prenancy. The story was abso-

"Oh Shit-zon! Found my self some Iron!"

Hades growling, hating to have his reading time disturbed by such non-sense. As he was _saying_, the story line was absolutely moving. So much emotion, and the author made Caleb and Corrine's scenes shine like gold-

"He-e-e-e-e-e-ll Yea-a-a-ah! found myself some - oh shit it's gold."

Hades was really getting vexed now, but he kept it to himself. Nonetheless, the book he was reading was truly moving, impactive even. Even with a cookie cutter ending, Knowels-

"Oooooh! Found myself some diamond! IT'S GLORIOUS!"

Keeping his anger to himself, Hades continued with his lament on his good reading when a _Hissssssssssssssssssssssssss _came from the computer screen.

"-"

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, now back to the main plot. Lol, it may seem like it at first but this is not a hint ApolloxArtemis slash. What's in parthensee is Athena.<strong>

Athena and Artemis were having a typical girl talk. You know, those ones about turning the love of your life into a jackolope? No, not today, but today they were engulfed in a conversation about their love for _Barbara Streisand. _Ever since iPods had been given out they had all delveloped an odd fondness for mortal music. Unlike Aphrodite's love for Justin Bieber, they were able to grasp the meaning of true music.

Artemis sung, her melodious voice bouncing off the walls. "_Midnight! Not a sound from the payment. Has the moon lost her memory? She is smiling alone."_

Athena clapped at Artemis's beautiful interpretation. Athena had been smiling until Apollo came behind them. _Oh joy_.

"Hello Ladies, I couldn't help but come when I heard the beautiful voice of someone singing the song made by _my _daughter."

Athena snickered. "I can't belive you... concieved... that!"

Artemis called her obnoxious brother out. "Fine then Apollo, get your ass up here. We'll see who's better."

Apollo sneered, and look of horror struck Athena. "Artemis... You might want to back down." She warned Artemis.

Apollo pursed his lips, and patted Athena's head. "You might want to listen to dear wise Athena."

"No, get up here."

Apollo shrugged, knowing he would win. Artemis started, "_My, my, time flies! One step in the_-"

Apollo laughed. "Ah no, C'mon Artemis. Here," He winked at her.

A fast beat started, it seemed to be a remix, and Artemis began, closing her eyes. "_There's a fire, starting in my heart. Reaching a fever pitch, yeah, it's bringing me out the dark."_

Apollo's voice cued in with great momentuem. "_Finally I can see you crystal clear, Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your ship bare," _Athena began to _ooooh _in the background for dramatic effect, making Apollo's voice sound even more beautiful. "_See how I'll leave, with every piece of you. __Don't underestimate the things that I will do," _he grabbed the microphone in his hand, and jumped closer to Artemis. "_There's a fire starting in my heart. Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark," _He began to trot on the stage, staring Artemis down. Of course, Apollo knew why she'd should sing this song. "_The scars of your love remind me of us_  
><em>They keep me thinking that we almost had it all. The scars of your love, they leave me breathless. I can't help feeling<em>-"

Artemis took her microphone, and held it to her mouth. Apollo and Artemis both sang. "_We could have had it all (Your gonna wish you-) Rolling in the deep (Never have met me)You had my heart inside your hand (Tears are gonna fall) And you played it to the beat (Rolling in the deep)."_

"_Throw your soul through every open door,_" Apollo sang. As they circled around each other.

Artemis cocked her head, confident. "_Count your blessings to find what you for."_

"Turn my sorrow into treasured gold."

"You pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow."

Athena cut in as Apollo and Artemis where in a dead-lock stare down. "_Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me."_

Apollo and Artemis harmoniezed in perfect unison. "_We could off had it all_."

_"Tears gonna fall, Rolling in the deep."_

"_We could off had it all. (Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me) It all, it all, it all, it all (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep). (Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me) __We could have had it all (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep) Rolling in the deep (Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me) __You had my heart and soul (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep) And you played it to the beat (Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me) Could have had it all (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep) Rolling in the deep_."

They breathed heavily. "I won." They said at the same time. Artemis whacked him in the head.

"Ugh. Get out of here."

Apollo speed off, and Artemis felt a tear run down her cheek. Athena disreguarded this, when she saw a white scroll left on the floor. It appeared Apollo had let something behind:

_150 things I'm not allowed to do at Mount Olympus._

**Author's Notes:Happy Premiere day guys! I'm going to cosplay. Should I be Tonks, Snape, Lily or, Hermione?**

**Songs:**  
><strong>Rolling in the deep (i think they'd do this version by the girl who's cat in victorous) www (.) youtube (.) com watch?v=HUNbnFhvxyw**  
><strong>My! My! Time Flies! (Ian (my art class bud) and I are addicted to this lady! www (.) youtube (.) com watch?v=Cmy7Yul1sbE**  
><strong>Memory (cuz Artemis the goddess of the moon, it seemed fit) http:www (.) youtube (.) com/watch?v=GVwJNg4Wgq4**

**-  
>Editors's Note: I SAY TONKS! She's epic. And... *SPOILER* dead<strong>


	9. No Good Deed

**I ended up going as Hermione everyone. :) For the Percy Jackson Movie... I think I'll go as THALIA! Now before I get this chapter started, I need to yell my brother to stop watching porn on my iPad.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Athena and Artemis angrily stampeded through Olympus, only to be stopped by the face of Poseidon. "Poseidon! I don't have time for this!" Athena hollered.<p>

"What's that you got there?" Poseidon asked slyly, snatching it from her hands. "That? _That's_ why they–"

"What?" Artemis wondered aloud, with a calculating eye.

Poseidon blushed sheepishly, "Nothing..."

"We're going to Hermes."

Poseidon's voice roared with triumph. "Not without _me_ you're not!"

* * *

><p>Poseidon, Athena, and Artemis found themselves pounding on Hermes' front door. "Hermes! Get your ass out here!"<p>

Hermes opened up the door, he looked like hadn't slept in days, growing slight stubble on his chin. "Gwah! What the Hades do you want? My house just got blown up by fuckin' green thing-a-ma-bobbies known as creepers!"

"You have some explaining to do!" Artemis said, holding the list in front of his (_very exhausted_) face.

* * *

><p>"So... It inspired me to make a list, and pull pranks on random gods." Hermes explained casually, sitting on his bed in his Star Wars Pajama's, like it wasn't wrong to do so.<p>

The gods grimaced, and whispered amongst themselves. Finally they looked to Hermes. "We want in."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Next Chapter we will have more rules! I promise! I'm sorry. I love you all! Love your support! Without you all, this could still be the story sitting there with only one chapter, that haven't been updated in four months. Love you, bitches! I'm thinking about doing some more Maximum Ride fanfictions. Just wrote two called <em>Stupid Together, <em>and _Smart for each other._**


	10. Rules 76 to 80

**Aww god... I am in deep pain, because I hurt my hip roundhouse kicking a lamp. -.-**

* * *

><p><strong>1. I shall not go skinny dipping in Poseidon Private swimming pool.<strong>

"Hermes! Gods!" Hades exclaimed at the sight of Hermes removing his pantaloons. "Put your pants on!"

"Lighten up!" Hermes yelled as he did a cannon ball. "It's tradition! We used to do it in the Olympics!"

**_This one's a bit M-rated... so, if you get uncomfortable skip it_****  
>2. If my name is Aphrodite, I should not get boob reduction surgery.<strong>

Dionysus, recently in cahoots with the list, headed with Ares to their favorite seafood bar and grill with Poseidon.

They sighed, boozing away their sorrow. When Aphrodite had join them at their table, "Hey, sorry I'm late."

Dionysus and Ares barely regarded her presence. "You know I've been getting these back pains." Aphrodite explained. The two arrogant men grumbled, why did girls have to be so whiny all the time. "And I'm thinking about get my boobs reduced."

Ares and Dionysus spit their drinks. "What?" They choked out.

"Well, there so... _big." _She said, cupping her breasts.

"Why on earth would you do that?" Dionysus asked, taking a swig.

"Well, imagine having these big balls."

"Oh gods..." They grunted.

"Well, everyone wants to see boobs." Dionysus said. "Who wants to see balls? What girl do _you _know that says I want to see a penis?"

Ares nodded. "But all our guy friends always yell out, I want to see some mother fucking tities." He began to pound his fist on the table between each word.

"You have to lug these big balls everywhere!"

**3. I shall not challenge Zeus to a Pokémon Battle.**

_Zeus is challenged by PkMn Trainer Hades!_

_Zeus uses rant!_

_Oh no! Hades fell asleep!_

_Zeus used Bitch-slap!_

_It's super effective!_

**4. I shall not go climbing through ventilation system of Olympus.**

Poseidon felt a small pebble pound lightly against his head. "Poseidon!" Athena called him. Poseidon crawled up next to her.

They lurked further through the vents. "Are you cold?" Poseidon asked, his voice piercing the cool air.

"Well, what do you think idiot?" He said, thumping him.

"Maybe we should snuggle close together to keep warm." Poseidon suggested, earning himself another thump.

**5. I shall not convince Aphrodite to get a Twitter.**

Aphrodite pulled her seat up to her desk, and scattered her fingers gracefully across her keyboard. "Let's see what on this twitter machine."

_Aphrodite: I would drag my balls across a thousand miles of broken glass just to hear you fart through a walkie-talkie._

She shrugged. "Well, that's nice."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Notes: Someone's been watching curb your enthusiasm. Say Larry if you caught thy reference. And we have a reference to iCarly (say Gibby), and Last but not least JENNA MARBLES (say kermit). Oh and ATTENTION MAXIMUM RIDE FANS! The Nomnomkitty did a version of this for MR called <em>100 things Max would never let us do<em>  
>And next chapter: 10 RULES!<strong>

**Oh, And I put actors up for all the characters in 150 things I'm not allowed to do at camp half-blood. I still need:**

**Piper  
>Leo<br>Katie  
>Stoll's<br>Silena  
>Nico<strong>

**And eventually I'm putting them up for this story as well... Artemis is going to be twelve :)**

**Hades: Remember when you used to update twice a day?**

**Me: Yes, but-**

**Hades: You should go back to that**

***gulp***


	11. Rules 81 to 90

**My Brother thinks he's a deillusional werewolf... Go figure. I have to stop letting him watch MTV.**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The following 5 rules is dedicated to Larry David, co-creator of Seinfeld, star of Curb Your Enthusiam.<em>**  
><strong><br>81. I shall not use my throne for Mediation.  
>(Thoughts of Ares as he mediates)<strong><br>_  
><em>****

_ah-ah,_

_ah-ah,_

_ah-eye-ah, ah-eye-ah, ah-yah, ah-yah,_

_yah-ah, yah-ah, yah-ah, I made it out of clay, and when it's dry and ready, yah-yah I will play!_

_yah-yah, OH, yah-ah, yah, yah, yah, yah yah!_

**82. I shall not question Ares on his habits of going to the Bathroom.**

Hades entered the quarters (_very_ close quarters) of Ares, disturbing Ares' train of thought. Hades stood over Ares' best. "Ares? Is there something wrong with you? Aphrodite tells me you go to the bathroom _a lot_."

"_Why_ are you talking about-"

"Do have like E.D.? Does your piss sound like a underwater symphony of yelping narwhals? Do you drink more water than a fucking porpoise?"

"What? Is she talking to you about my bathroom habits? When I'm in there? How long I'm in there? What I'm doing in there?"

"No, she tells me, that when she's trying to play 'darts' with you, it's like she's playing with overcooked speghetti."

"Look, I don't want her-"

"She cares for you. I care for you. We care for your bowles. We have bowl concern."

"Gwa-"

"No, no one pisses like that unless they drink like a thousand gallons a week? Who are you, Poseidon or some shit?"

He shot out of his seat, and said hurriedly, "I'm leaving."

"Are you going to the bathroom?"

"No."

"You are _so_ going to the bathroom."

**83. Offenses against The Bald is not racial discremination.**

"No, Zeus, Look." Ares said, bombarding him.

Zeus found himself staring at the wall. _Bald Asshole._

"So? It's just a prank." Zeus informed him, shrugging.

"No! It's racist."

"Racist?"

"Yes! It's a hate _crime_."

"Yes, us balds, we're a community, we stick together. We consider ourselves a group."

**84. I shall not easedropp on Ares's anger management sessions.**

"So, _Ares," Hestia said in a calm, smoothing voice. "I think you are trapped, concealing in a violent mindstate, in which the brain-"_

"Excuse me, I don't understand."

"Let me put in terms you would understand," Hestia cleared her throat. "Yo, you stuck in yo' Ares shell. you need to become another mother fucker right now, you feel me?"

**85. I shall not try to explain men to Aphrodite.**

Hephaestus was flabbergasted to come home to see Aphrodite talking to Hades. They looked to him, and Hephatus gestured for them to get out. "What was that?" Hephaestus asked with a calculating eye.

Aphrodite shrugged. "We're just friends."

"How can you be so naive? You see men. They say they want to be your friends, because they want to sleep with you, and they're attracted to you. He wants to have sex with you."

"Okay," Aphrodite rolled her eyes. "Say you're right. how do I stop him from talkin' to me?"

_**The Following is dedicated to Jenna Marbles, M-rated youtube celeb.**_

**86. I shall not introduce the Gods to Jenna Marbles.  
><strong>{Don't go watch Jenna Marbles unless you're 16+}

"Hey Hermes," Aphrodite called. "We got a letter from someone known as Taylur to watch a YouTube Channel called "Jenna Marbles"

**The following will happen:**

**87. I shall not change the lyrics of the never ending song to fit to the situation I am in.**

"Hey, Aph-" Hades greeted with a warm smile, as Aphrodite began with:

_This is the conversation that never ends_

"Aphrodite, I-"

_Yes, it goes on and on_

_What the fuck?_

"Look, I just-"

_You started talking to me_

"I wanted to-"

_and now you won't fucking stop_

_Please leave me the fuck alone_

_'cause I don't want to fuckin' talk to you_

"Aw, what's the point..."

**88. I saw not use the Jenna Marbles Face to avoid work.  
><strong>_{Jenna Marbles Face: http:/www (dot) bing (dot) com/images/search?q=Jenna+Marbles&view=detail&id=&first=0&qpvt=Jenna+Marbles&FORM=IDFRIR}_

"Hey, Hermes could you-"

*face*

"Okay, Hermes, real funny, now cut it out."

*face*

"What the hell, man? I just need a favor?"

*face*

"What ever, I'll just make Hades do it."

**89. I shall not call Hades -or any other god- a "sparkly cupcake panda."**

Aphrodite nudged Hades with a welcoming smile. "How are you, sparkly cupcake panda?"

Hades scowled while an overbearing amount of confusion washed over him. He slowly, but cautious walked away from the deillusional goddess of love.

"Hey Zeus, you fluffly chocalate llama!"

**90. I shall not ask Artemis for her opinion on Aphrodite.  
><strong>  
>Artemis cleared her throat, and pomply began, "Aphrodite! She straightens the shit out of her hair! And wears color like black, because it says- I'm a whore! She doesn't go out like that," she points to Athena. "She puts on her hot guy diguise. She always ready for a higher budget porno scene! BO-COCKY! She picks something under the catergory of short and tight to show of her sweater puppies. Her next step is to wear as much perfume as possible. So that you can smell her from her house before you even get there. Mhmmm... It smells of desperation. Now she adds lots of jewelry. Jewelry was invented 1990's to say '<em>I wanna fuck you.' <em>It's like the underground of railroad... of sex! Don't forget to she wears heals. Her goal is to make it rain on her ass. The next step, is when she chooses her bag... she chooses something that says 'I paid way too much for this.' Because it's just a fucking bag. I literally throw my shit in it, and it costs two thousand dollars. She packs her bag with the essentials. She packs a sandwich, to trick you into thinking she can cook, because men will ask you to make them one anyway. Also, some cleaning supplies, so they think she can clean too. Before she leaves her quarters, she sexts Ares. So that he'll justify buying her an entire mealing. And she remembers that she's a girl, so she's not funny, interesting, smart or any of those things. She gets thoose fake laughs ready, and is impressed with every violent thing Ares says. _Ah-ha-ha-ha_!," She laughs, imitating her. "And if you ask her a question, don't think about it, cause she's an idiot. She pretends she's Miss South Carolina. So Ares will be all, _'Awww, she tried to use her brain'_. And when her dates are over, she has sex with them, because that's all she's good for. And if men don't call her back, it's because there so busy at work. What else is she going to do? Show up as herself and hope things work out? No! That's way too risky. She might get hurt!"

**Author's Notes:**

**Need ideas for:**

**Rules**  
><strong>Actors<strong>

**I put one up for Hades and Katie... Who the hell would I pick for hermes... I'd like thy opinions on them. **

**Oh well... I have an Idea for Ares!**

**Anyway... _Next Chapter:_** Important Author's Note. 

* * *

><p><strong>Penname Subject to change on December 16, 2011.<strong>


	12. Wisegirl and I host a talk show

**My Mom is trying to make me be girly. HELP ME!  
><strong>

From blackness fades in a homely room. A girl with feathery honey blonde hair is sitting with her legs crossed in a maroon armchair. She singals to her nerd of a camera man. "In... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1..."

"Hello everyone, Taylur, Daughter of Apollo, here. Yep I switched my godly parent, AGAIN!" Take a look at Taylur, she does look like an Apollo child. "Now, I have a lot of news, and updates to tell you all today."

She arises from her chair, and a Dr. Phil like feel washes over her. A crowd of 170 people watch her with anxious eyes. "First, I'd like to firmly apologize for everything that's been going on here today with the author's notes. Secondly, I apologize for getting any of you grounded for writing some of the M-rated shit-nits."

Taylur yawns, and streches her arms out. "Now to the good stuff. Most importantly on December 16, 2011, **I'm changing my penname! **Voting for a pen name has ended... And I'm contemplating deeply what to change it to."

She clears her throat, transitioning to a new topic. "Now, I've replaced the old poll with a new one. Many of you have approached me saying **I** **should** **start a blog**. So... I'll ask you... Do you think I should start a blog? **If** **15 people tell me they want a blog**. I'll start one!"

She hears a vague round of applause from the auidence.

"Now, the**THREEQUEL**," The was an uproar of clapping, whistling, and cheering of all sorts. "So... I'm writing... **150 things I'm not allowed to do in the Underworld, **where Nico and the dead play pranks on Hades. I already have it mapped out in my head. For this, I need 50 people to let me know they'll read it. I repeat **50** people to let my know that they'll be interested in a sequel. I know you're all out there."

They gasp, for they think the number is far too high.

"In addition, I have changed my pen name on **fictionpress, **because I want to begin writing anonymusly. I don't want my friends, mainly Samantha, reading it."

"HEY!" Samantha, Daughter of Demeter, screams from the audience. Her tones is sour and bitter. "Why can't I read it? Are you trying to hide something from me that you know you git? I'll put all our text conversations- with minor editing- on Facebook!"

Taylur continues regardless, chuckling lightly. "Samantha, I am the voice to your Max. So, **PM me**if you want my new user name, because I'm writing a cute little story on there as well."

"And... Oh yes, And next chapter. **20 rules**... I repeat **twenty** rules!

Now, regarding the blog, It's not going to be all... _Stacey said, then Michelle said, and OMG Johnny is sooo hot!' _mine would be more, **humorous take on my life**- like Diary of a Wimpy kid."

A girl stands up from the auidence, "**How come I couldn't review the last chapter?"**

"I deleted _Annoyances in Grammar _therefore throwing the chapter order off track."

Another girl rises up from the her seat. "Remember when you use to update twice a day?"

Taylur nodds, shrugging.

"You shoud do that again."

Taylur hands over the mike to Wisegirl1313, her temporary beta while Eleos suffered internet troubles. "Wisegirl," Taylur bellows. "Anylast words?"

Wisegirl1313 held the mike to her mouth and said, "This has been a very _interesting _chapter(ish) episode for 150 Things I'm Not Allowed To Do on Mount Olympus, and sadly it has come to the end like all great chapters must. Well, review to make Taylur happy! And espescially review for the threequel!" Taylur leaves and Wisegirl follows. The the homely room fades out to the darkness and the great chapter is now complete


	13. Rules 91 to 99

**My xbox got the red ring of death... AGAIN! so we just got a PS3... Anyone have a PS3? Add me! My brother and I's online ID: HUMUHUM... It was his idea... not mine.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>51.I shall not introduce the gods to facebook.<strong>

_What's on your mind?_  
>Aphrodite gracefully swept her fingers across the keyboard, and typed:<br>_Percabeth_

_What's on your mind?_  
>Ares harshly pounded on each key, making it suffer at the wrath of his fingers, and typed:<br>_Bombs_

_What's on your mind?  
><em>Poseidon poked each key one at a time, and slowly typed:  
><em>Peanut butter<em>

_What's on your mind?  
><em>Apollo smirked as he clearly typed:  
><em>sex<em>

_What's on your mind?  
><em>Hermes swiftly typed:  
><em>Nyan cat<em>

_What's on your mind?_  
>Artemis shrugged, and typed the simple words:<br>_Sarah Palin_

_What's on your mind?_  
>Hades unsteadily glided his hands across the keyboard:<br>_Button, Oh, Button, Where have you gone?_

**52. I shall not try to beat Poseidon in his own element.**

Hermes stood closely behind the corner of a wall, holding his water gun in anticipation. His left hand was on the pump, his right on the trigger, prompt for attack.

He heard footsteps come closer, and closer. _Poseidon._

"GO! GO! GO!" Hermes yelled, jumping from his hiding spot. He pumped his gun widly, drenching the god of the sea from water.

**53. I will not sneak into bed with Artemis in the middle of the night.**

"Do it!" Hades and Poseidon hissed at Hermes.

He growled. "Why don't you do it?"

"Dude, we have wives."

Hermes crossed his arms as he snuck into Artemis's quarters. "That never seems to stop _you._" He growled.

**54. I will not tell Hades to liven it up or to live the life.**

"C'mon Hades!" Hestia said enthusiastically, pumping her fist at her side. "Smile! LIVE THE LIFE!"

"Oh... Ha-ha! You're quite the wit!"

**55. I will not give Hestia a machine gun on national peace day.**

Ares slammed a machine gun in the hands of Hestia, smiling brightly. "Ares what do you want me to do with this?"

"Well, I took your words into consideration," Ares shrugged, looking as mechanical as ever. "It's national peace day, so I'm topsy-turvying this mother-"

"That's not what I had in mind."

**56.I will not host a reanaccment of the Trojan Beauty Contest with the guys acting as the girls.**

Aphrodite beamed, as she slid a dazzling salman dress on Hades, and curled his brown hair. She smudged a cue-tip all over her compact of black eyeshadow

_-flash back to Artemis's rant-_

_"She uses colors like black, because it screams "I'M A WHORE!"_

Aphrodite quickly did his eye make-up heavy. "Oh, Darling, you look fabulous!"

**57. I will not remove all of Aphrodite's clothes, makeup, and jewllery from her room leaving only a dirty rag for her to wear.**

"I'm not coming out!" Aphrodite sobbed, her muffled voice coming from Hephaestus quarters.

**Hephaestus let out a huff of exasperation, and knocked again. "C'mon, I'll take you out to dinner tonight!"**

"Don't look at me! I'm hideous!"

"Aphrodite, you're beautiful!"

She sniffled. "Really?"

"Yes, c'mon, I'll take you the Cheesecake Factory!"

"Cheesecake!" She squealed. Are you trying to make me fat?"

"Wha-nno-" Hephaestus sighed, realizing he could never win.

**98. I shall not take the advice of Dionysus.  
><strong>  
>"Hmm..." Hades quickly scribbled out <em>98. I shall not annoy Dionysus. <em>Unfortunately, it wasn't working. He couldn't out insanity the god of insanity. Besides, Hades didn't like that rule. I seemed to be a rip-off of many other rules, and was much too vague. Instead he decided to bring Dionysus into the list, after all he was the god of insanity, who can beat that? Hades remembered in his effort to annoy the god of wine, he asked._ "What did Aphrodite tell you that got you so scared?"_

_There was a sly smirk that crossed Dionysus face, but Hades thought nothing of it. "Why don't you ask yourself?" Their was no anger in his voice, his sentence more seemed to trail off."_

_"I think I will," Hades nodded, as Dionysus grin became wider._

_Dionysus firmly grabbed Hades' shoulders for a long moment._

_..._

_Apollo skipped down the halls of Olympus. The sounds of his footstes echoed off the walls. He beamed, it was a bright, sunny day, and it was perfect day to take a jog in the mortal world, he walked across the rainbow bridge that connected Olympus to the elevator that zipped down to the mortal world, and on that bridge, he saw Dionysus grasping Hades's shoulder's firmly._

_Oh my, oh my, Apollo began to panick, Had he been interrupting something? Had he ruined the moment? He quicky skidded off._

...

Hades quickly began uncomfortable, when Dionysus shook him and said, "Go to her."

And that lead him to where he was now, running down the halls of Olympus, huffing and puffing, out of breath. When Aphrodite came into view, he did an epic baseball poweslide in front of her.

"Aphrodite!"

"Hang on, Peresphone, I got to go." She clapped her phone shut, and put on her signature fake smile. "How do you have so many kids at the same age?"

Aphrodite groaned."Ugh, I hung up the phone for this," she whined, rolling her eyes, and then turned on her heels. "Take my hand."

Hesitantly, Hades grabbed her hand, and with a snap, they were gone.

The world became distorted, and Hades was in a vortex of light, where he saw a vague shape of Aphrodite next to him. Then, it ceased, he felt his feet on the ground once more, he stumbled. He face had gone completelty green and he had wan't to hurl.

Getting a hold of his usual, boring on composure he said, "The hell?" He was gazing at a plain, black building that looked to resembled a factory. In neon hot pink it read, _Aphrodite's Nusery. _Slowly, they entered. Hades fainted at the sight of what he had seen. On the inside, It appeared like a school, or a college dormintory. Each door had a window in it... Hades peered in the window.

Inside, was a child's nursery, the walls painted baby blue, and an assortment of baby toys, sitting around a pregnant women... A pregnant woman that looked _exactly _like Aphrodite. He peered in the next room... It was the same, except this Aphordite was not pregnant, but was breast feeding a small child. He peered in the next... It was the same... All of them... Millons of Pregnant Aphrodite.

Suddenly, Hades felt light-head, and collasped on the floor.

**99. In Addition, I as a god, shall not abuse my power of being in different places at once.**

Apollo tapped on Artemis's left shoulder, Artemis wheeled around. No one was there.

Apollo tapped on her right shoulder, she turned on her heels, once again, no one was there.

This was odd, perhaps it was the wind, no, she was sure it was-

Now there was a tap on both of her shouders, she turned around completely, and feel someone poked her behind.

_Snap! _There was a crack of mist around her and she surrounded by Apollos!

She fainted, being caught by Apollo #6.

**Author's Notes: See what I did there? I lied! There is no twenty rules... It's a lie...just like the cake ;)... So I gave you nine... And... A lot has happend since I last updated... The blog is up... link is on profile... And I read the Hunger games! BITCHES, I AM ON TEAM GALE!**

NOW LISTEN UP FOOLZ! I got something important to say!

You know that REALLY good writer, that deserves more credit than they get?

DON'T YOU HATE THAT!

Now, there is an Author on here... Her penname is Nettie Moore, who is _by far, _a way better writer than myself.

See's writing a great Maruader's fanfiction called

**_I Solemnly Swear... YOU WILL READ THAT FANFICTION, AND YOU WILL REVIEW IT!_**

**Lol... No... but Seriously, You should. She's amazing! I'll give you cake!**

**Also, I got a tumblr, just cuz my friend brutally forced me... So... Does anyone else have one? I'll follow you!**

**And... Umm... Yeah...**

**...**

**THREE****QUEL NOTES ALONG WITH UPCOMING SHIT!**

**Thanks to everyone who said I should write the threequel... Next chapter... I shall thank you all next chapter!**

**150 Things I'm not allowed to do at the Underworld is underway!**

**But I'm going on hiatus before I publish it because school starts, and before School starts I want to try to wrap four of my stories beforehand. That or I'll discontinue them or some shit.**

**Stories to finish before I start 150 Things Underworld: _That's what Faith Can do, Nothing but the Truth, It's A Hogwarts Life, and It's Life! (sequel to it's a Hogwarts life!)._**

**Also, I might cut Dear Fanfiction Writers short...**

**...**

**THREEQUEL, QUADQUEL, AND FIVEQUEL?**

**Okay... I'm writing everything I plan to do in this order.**

**1. 150 things I'm not Allowed to do in the Underworld:**

**Well, we all know why I'm writing this first.**

**2. 150 things I'm not allowed to do in High School: I started writing this, but I can't get the opening scene right... so I've written it more than a thousand times... And This will be on Fictionpress...**

**3. 150 Things I'm not allowed to do at Legion: The Roman camp.. writing this last because I need to wait for at least two more heroes of olympus books to come out next.**

**Editors Note: I'm _baack!_ I WANNA READ THAT MARAUDERS FIC! I WILL NOW! :) **


	14. Rules 100 to 110

**Skirts... Algebra... Boredom... That can only mean one thing... School! I don't know why but I update faster during the school year... It gives me some sort of deadline. Hell, Oh, I mean, High school, starts tomorrow for me. you?**

* * *

><p><strong>100. I shall not turn the Big-Three into two years olds.<strong>

"Apollo!"

Apollo heard a screech come from outside his quarters. Sighing, he dropped his quill, and proceeded to the entrance of his humble abode. "Yes?" Rubbing sand out of his eyes, he opened the door.

It had been an angry Hestia, holding a baby in his arms... well, not so babyish at all... it looked perfectly capable of heart stopping. Not again.

"I'm not the father!" He said, slamming the door shut.

Hestia stopped the door with her hand, "Don't worry, Apollo... you're not the father."

Apollo let out the sigh of relief, and lead Hestia into his humble adobe, letting her sit on the couch.

Hestia racked the sleeping child of about two years old in her arms, "So... Who's the father?" Apollo asked, his voice trailing off.

Hestia rolled her eyes and held the child up to his face... "Look at him! Who does he look like?"

Apollo squinted, and examined him closely... jet black hair, electric blue eyes, short, and spiky hair... a strong jaw... why... it looked just like-

"ZEUS! YOU DID IT WITH-"

"No, nim-rod!" She said, flicking his forehead. "It _is_ Zeus! Hermes found some elixir to turn the Big-Three into helpless toddlers."

"Wait... Big-Three?"

As soon as the words left his mouth, two more children entered his quarters.

The first was paler than the rest, and had a very sullen look to him, his eyes were blood-shot, as if he had soaked his eyes in chlorine. His dark hair was curly, like a small Jewish-fro. "Hades?" he asked, blinking rapidly.

"Indeed," Toddler Hades said plainly.

He looked to the next, who looked almost identical to the other, except with substantial differences. His skin looked as it were kissed by the sun, and his raven-black hair was long. Different from the rest, was his bright, sea green eyes, like the ocean itself. "Poseidon?"

"You bet your ass I am," Toddler Poseidon retorted, leaving Apollo taken aback.

"Oh yes... That's the Big-Three alright."

**101. I shall not replace Hephaestus' tools with rubber ducks.**

Hephaestus was elated to begin working on a brand-new automaton. A statue of Darren Criss, he thought, would fit nicely in Olympus. After all, one with such talent only deserves such respect as an supermegafoxyawesomehot, gleeful, Disney singing, "totally awesome," Red Vine lover.

With crisp steps, he went to receive his tool box, but the objects he found inside... were not his tools.

"What the Devil-?"

It had been ducks of rubber!

**102. I shall turn the Big-Three back into the their normal selves.**

"Change me back!" Zeus demanded as the sky roared with monstrous thunder, and the halls of Olympus flashed with white lightning.

Apollo pursed his lips, and pinched the chubby cheeks of the toddler Zeus. "Who's an angry little toddler? YOU ARE!" he cooed.

"Fine, but I demanded to be breast fed... by Aphrodite!" Hades called, slamming his fist on the bars of his crib.

Poseidon shrugged and the sea immediately began to calm. "I'm fine as long as I have my blankie."

**103. I shall not sing songs from Veggie Tales while exiting the shower.**

Taylur: "Now it's time for silly songs with Ares.  
>This is the part of the list where Ares comes out and sings a silly song!<br>Our curtain opens when Ares just finished his morning  
>bath, is searching for his hairbrush. Having no success, Ares cries out:"<p>

Ares: _"Oh, where is my hairbrush? Oh where is my hairbrush? Oh, where,  
>oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh,<br>where oh, where ... is my hairbrush?"_

Taylur: "Having heard his cry, Dionysus enters the scene. Shocked and  
>slightly embarrassed at the sight of Ares in a towel, Dionysus regains his<br>composure and reports ..."

Dionysus: "I think I saw a hairbrush back there!"

Ares:_ "Back there is my hairbrush. Back there is my hairbrush. Back  
>there, back there, oh, where, back there, oh, where, oh, where, back<br>there, back there, back there ... is my hairbrush?"_

Taylur: "Having heard his joyous proclamation, Athena enters  
>the scene. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Ares in a<br>towel, Athena regains her composure and comments ..."

Athena: "Why do you need a hairbrush? You don't have any hair!"

Taylur: "Ares is taken aback. The thought had never occurred to him.  
>No hair? What would this mean? What will become of him? What will become<br>of his hairbrush? Ares wonders:"

Ares: _"No hair for my hairbrush. No hair for my hairbrush. No hair, no  
>hair, no where, no hair, no hair, no hair, no where back there, no hair<br>.. for my hairbrush."_

Taylur: "Having heard his wonderings, Hermes enters the scene.  
>Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Ares in a towel, Hermes<br>regains his composure and confesses:"

Hermes: "Ares, that old hairbrush of yours ... Well, you never use it, you  
>don't really need it. So, well, I'm sorry ... I didn't know. But I gave<br>it to the Apollo - 'cause he's got hair!"

Taylur: "Feeling a deep sense of loss, Ares stumbles back and laments:"

Ares: _"Not fair! Oh, my hairbrush. Not fair! My poor hairbrush. Not  
>fair, not fair, no hair, not fair, no where, no hair, not fair, not<br>fair, not fair! My little hairbrush!"_

Taylur: "Having heard his lament, Apollo enters the scene.

In a towel, both Ares and the Apollo are shocked and slightly  
>embarrassed at the sight of each other. But recognizing Ares' uncharacteristic<br>generosity, Apollo is thankful:"

Apollo: "Thanks for the hairbrush."

Taylur: "Yes, good has been done here. Apollo exits the scene.  
>Ares smiles, but, still feeling an emotional attachment for the<br>hairbrush, calls out ..."

Ares: _"Take care of my hairbrush. Take care, oh my hairbrush. Take  
>care, take care, don't dare not care. Take care. Nice hair. No fair.<br>Take care, take care ... of my hairbrush."_

Taylur: "The end!"

Eleos then bursts into random applause and throws roses at Ares. "BRAVO! BRAVO!"

**104. I shall not lock Ares and Artemis in a closet together.  
><strong>"So..." Artemis said, trapped in closet with the god of war. This was beyond the awkwardest situation she had ever been in. "Apollo tells me you like to go the the bathroom."

Ares nodded. "When I feel it, I do it."

**105. I shall not dare Apollo to ask out Aphrodite.**

Apollo was ranting about the displeasure of a single life. "You know what," Apollo slammed his fists on the table, and took another shot of whiskey - disregarding any signs that he was no longer sober. "Being single like..._ sucks _man. Είμαι το καυτότερο ουσία σε ισχύ αυτή η."

"You're speaking Greek." Dionysus warned him, managing to keep a normal composure.

"Oh shit man," Apollo remarked, rubbing his forehead.

Dionysus smirked, wanting to make the best of this moment where Apollo could so easily be manipulated. "Why not ask Aphrodite out?"

Aphrodite trotted the halls of Olympus, taking a moment to her look at her self in the mirror. Then, Apollo appeared in front of her, leaning on a post.

"Aphrodite..." His words were unnaturally slurred, implying that he most certainly wasn't in the right state of mind.

"Yes, Apollo?"

"Here's a funny idea," he giggled, but his giggling was abruptly cut off a loud burp. "How would you," another giggle, "like to go out," a hiccup, "with me?" alas, a burp.

Aphrodite bit her lip, and cautiously said. "Oh, ah, sorry, but I'm currently seeing... everyone else."

**106. I shall not ask Aphrodite if she's a Seddie or a Creddie.**

Hermes walked around Olympus, a familiar stride in step. On the hunt of Aphrodite he was, and - _Alas! -_ he found her.

"Hey Aphrodite," And he immediately whipped out the most important question in the history of _EVER_. "Seddie or Creddie?"

"SEDDAY!" Aphrodite howled, impersonating Goopy Gilbert as she pumped her fist.

"Aw sweet," Hermes high-fived her, and then said, "Party at my place for iLostMyMind."

**107. I shall not video tape Aphrodite's reaction to iLostMyMind, and post it on YouTube.**

He went and sat next to her on her pink, fru-frued couch, and watching the last two minutes of the show together.

_Freddie: [holding up pear pad to face] Anyway, yeah it's important what Sam feels, but how I feel is important too._

_Sam: [as Freddie puts down his pear pad] Yeah Benson, we get it. If you want to embarrass me on the Internet go ahead and do it. I don't care! [Freddie begins to walk towards Sam] to get back at me for all the mean things I've done to you, go ahead and do it. [Freddie Kiss Sam here]_

"YES!" Aphrodite said, throwing her fists in the air, she began to cry, and breath heavily. "_Finally_."

The popcorn Hermes was chewing had fallen out of his mouth as he muttered, "Oh... my... god..." His eyes were as wide as Drachma's.

Out of no where, Aphrodite had kissed Hermes just to release their excitement, and they continued to do so passionately for the next hour or so... It was a very... _interesting_ night...

**108. I shall not bring Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way to Mount Olympus.**

'i wok up outside of a big marble place, and saw a stupid fucking prep, so I gave her the middle finger. She was waring shit from Hollister and Acrombie. Then UI111saw the most fucking hot guy ever whoz waz probably bi... cuz they're so senitsitve. It was... Nico Di Angelo!

He wams nexrt to Hades, my fucking idol!

I ran up to him and SHouted depressedily11. "Hi Nico!111"

Staanding next to ghim wAS HIS FATHER haddes, swho was where super goffick and hot so i wanted to rape him so abad. lol.

Nicko Raidesed an eyebow at me! "Do I no u?" He asked sexily.

I was really angry at him for staying that, so I yelled at him gofficklily. "U didt sway dat after that hot crazy you-know-what we had alsrt nite!11"

Hadesss gave Nicoo a look, so I murdered dem stoopid preps, and went to slit my rists.**'***

**109. I shall not sing the HP Literal in lullaby form to baby Zeus.**

Apollo nodded to Hecate, and she quickly summoned his guitar. "_Accio Guitar!_" she called, and the guitar zoomed into her hand. She handed it to Apollo, as Hestia gently placed Zeus in his crib.

Slowly, and gently, Apollo began to sing.

_Spell, Dodge, Too many passengers  
>Dramatic turn,<br>how does that hold him up?  
>First time he touched a girl<br>Pan up, pointy roof, leaf bed, look right  
>this movie is extremely important.<em>

**110. I shall not ask Hestia to rap.**

"Hestia, since you never rapped in the rap battles for us. Wouldn't you rap for us now?"

_"There once was a lemur named snoop dog,  
>he once had a friend named Poo Frog-"<br>_

"Okay, we've heard enough."

**Author's notes: It's disclaimer time again.**

I do not own Percy Jackson. Rick Riordon does.  
>I do not own the lyrics to the hairbrush song. Veggie Tales does.<br>I do not own iCarly. Dan Schneider does.  
>I do not own the lyrics to the HP Literal. Toby Turner does.<br>I do not own Hestia's Rap. My friend Caroline wrote it.  
>I do not own Ebony Way. Tara Gillbes Troll Guru does.

So... I loved this chapter! I've always wanted to do something with Ebony Way. So I Did. And the iLostMyMind reaction was based of the Andrew and my iOMG reaction. Also, no more Aphrodite/Hermes... I can't put Aphrodite with simply one man. I'd lose the fun. So... shit... and yeah... That's all for now folks!

**Editor's Note: [*Just to state the obvious: I DIDN'T EDIT THIS IN ANYWAY. Phew.] This was fun. And tiring. Right now I am "supposedly" in bed sleeping, so I can get up early for an Eye Doctor's appointment tomorrow morning. CURSE MY INABILITY TO NOT EDIT AND POOR EYESIGHT! :) YEAH, MY INTERNET PERSONA, or rather _me_, WAS IN THIS! WHOO! ;)**

Great chapter! :)

I hope I didn't go past the hour limit to edit this, I tried to edit it within the hour, in the shortest time possible. I think it took five, minutes to get the laptop, two to turn it on, one to login and go to email, and about thirty to


	15. Rules 111 to 119

**111. I shall not introduce Athena to Portal 2.**

The song Apollo had been singing; it hadn't been funny, nor was it amusing,. The lyrics were very frank—even rude, but the rhythm was upbeat. Most of all, Apollo had not even sounded like himself... he sounded almost... _robotic._

_"And these points I'm making,_  
><em>Make a beautiful line<em>  
><em>and we're out of beta,<em>  
><em>We're on releasing on time."<em>

That of course, the more upbeat part of the song- if one could even consider it a song in the first place. Yet, the next part was far from strange:

_"And I'm GLAD I got burned__  
><em>_Think of all the things I learn for the people who are__  
><em>_Still Alive!"_

Yes, the ominous song was its own oxymoron within itself.

Being Athena with all her almighty Athena-ness and smarticles, she slowly approached Apollo with a great sense of caution overwhelming her. "Apollo," she asked tentatively. "What is this... song you're singing?"

Apollo leaned in, as if to tell her a secret. "Do you _really_ want to know?"

"If I didn't want to know, I wouldn't have freaking asked you in the first place!"

He nodded, and tried to hide a smirk. "Come with me."

_Two hours later..._

"THE CAKE IS A LIE!" Athena screamed, keeping a firm grip on her PS3 remote and her grey eyes locked on the T.V. screen. "No one lies to momma about her cake!_ NOBODY! Okay, GlaDos, now _this is personal._"_

**112.** **Never shall I ever spoil Harry Potter for Hermes.**

Was it just him, or was Athena actually _rubbing off_ on Hermes? First, he was becoming prone to correct people's grammar, and flame Twilight fan pages. But now, his actions were far more drastic. He was actually reading, and the book didn't even have _pictures. _Hell, it was thicker than his own hand, too! And—get this—Hermes actually liked it. It was prosperous!

So perched on a wooden chair in an ornate marble hallway Hermes sat, holding _Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix _in his hands. He was particularly enjoying the outrageous rabblerousing performed by Fred and George to deny Umbridge. He laughed, giggled, and chuckled, but cried when someone (Athena, cough, cough) had interrupted his reading fun time.

A look of triumph on Athena's face, she stated clearly: "Fred dies in book seven."

With an overwhelming swell in his heart, Hermes let out a waterfall of tears.

**113. Never ask Zeus why he married his sister**.

It had been a few weeks since the two year old incident, and Zeus was particularly pissed, because Poseidon and Hades had been changed back, but Hecate had refused to change back Zeus.

Hades planned to take advantage of this, skidding down the halls, and into the Olympus Nursery Hades had went. He arrived to the crib of Toddler Zeus.

Hades beamed, and pinched the toddler's chubby cheeks. "Daw! Who married our sister? Who married our sister?" He cooed endearingly, tickling baby Zeus's chin.

"I am not amused." (A/N: Heh! Sami!) Said a bemused Baby Zeus, crossing his arms.

"Who married our sister? Why did little baby Zeus married our sister?"

Zeus grunted. "Life's very complicated."

**114. I shall not make Hermes a fanfiction account, so the gods can do _my immortal _commentary.**

Harry Potter The Greek Gods reads My Immortal _reviews_

So, I, Hermes, and the rest of the gods have decided to comment on the worst fanfiction ever written, by the infamous Tara Gillesbe.

...

**AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666**

"Oh, yes," Hades, who lived a very gothic lifestyle himself, "How very gothic are you?"

"HOMOPHOBE!" Apollo screamed out, waving his hands wildly in the air.

**4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!**

"Hell yes!" Apollo said, pumping his fists like Pauly-D. The rests of the gods narrowed their eyes on at him. "What? They do! . . . Though I don't see what it has to do with anything."

**Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way**

"Honey, I am certainly not master of this, but that first sentence screams bad writing."

**and I have long ebony black**

"Ebony and black are basically the same thing." Poseidon commented, running his hands through his own black hair.

**hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes**

"So my daughter has black hair, and guess what hers is natural! And, like, streaks are so hardcore, sure, Thalia has blue streaks but she is probably more goth that you will ever be."

"Poser." Hecate coughed under his breath.

**like limpid tears**

"Tears are clear."

"What does limpid mean?" Apollo asked, confused.

**and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee**

"Pfft... No she doesn't." Aphrodite immediately spat out.

**(AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!).** I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie.

"Ugh," Hermes scoffed, as he looked at the computer screen as if it were stupid. "If you're related to them, then you can't have sex with them."

Toddler Zeus and a few other gods squirmed uncomfortably.

**I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen).**

"Can you spell Mary-sue?" Athena asked, scowling like there was no tomorrow. "Scratch that, this chick can't spell at all!"

**I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell)**

"Bitch," Hecate addressed the fanfiction. "You are nothing, but _a fucking poser_."

**and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there.**

"And that makes you goth?" Eris screamed in outrage.

**For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow.**

"Someone arrest this chick!" Apollo demanded, slamming his fist angrily

**I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.**

**"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Draco Malfoy!**

**"What's up Draco?" I asked.**

**"Nothing." he said shyly.**

"That was the MOST bland conversation ever." Demeter said, scowling. "This is where the cereal is the one who wants to have flowing dialogue."

**But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.**

"Girl, who would dare be friends with you?" Aphrodite asked, sassily snapping

**AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!**

"Fang? I love him! He's my favorite in MR!" Eris commented, as the gods stared at her, a little surprised out her outburst (and the horrible writing).

**115. I shall not wax Hades' eyebrows in his sleep.**

Hades vision came in blurred as he slowly pushed himself out of bed that morning. His first instinct was to look into his mirror.

As his vision came into focus, he saw his eyebrows were no longer shapeless and bushy, but where arched, and thin, like Angelina Jolie.

His next instinct, you ask?

"Aphrodite!" He screamed.

**116. I shall not kidnap Zeus's royal rubbery ducky, and hold it for ransom**

_From: Asstastic(at)duckysnatchers(.)com__  
><em>_To: Lightningmaster5231(at)yahoo(.)com_

|Attachment: NiCKiMiNaJ-SuPerBaSs(.)MP3 |

Dear Zeus,

If you want your precious ducky, you must dance the dougie in the center of times square to 'super bass' by Nicki Minaj [file with lyrics enclosed]

You have until Midnight, or I deflate the duck.

Not very sincerely,

Asstastic

**117. I shall not quote Star wars when being interrogated by Hades.**

"Hermes!" Hades yelled, stomping down the hall and into the his relative's quarters. Hermes found himself face to face with the Angelina Jolie eye-browed one. "Did you do this to me?" He hollered, gesturing to his girly eyebrows. "Because Aphrodite said-"

Cold sweat broke out on Hermes face as he waved his hands and said: "These are not the droids you're looking for."

**118. I shall not make light saber noises with my sword.**

"Ready, Apollo?" Ares asked, getting a firm grip on his spear.

He nodded, indicating his perfect amount of readiness.

Ares was ready to lunge, when something odd happened.

Apollo twirled his sword, and muttered things such as _"Whum, Whum, Whum."_

"Dude, what the hell?"

_"Whum, Whum, Whum."_

"Okay, I'm not going to—"

But while in rambo rant mode, Ares saw a flash, and in the blink of the eye was knocked to the ground by Apollo.

"What the hell was that?"

Apollo smirked, as he held his sword to Ares neck. _"_A _distraction."_

**119. It is never a good idea to encourage the gods**—**excluding Zeus**—**to do the Time Warp in the Olympian Throne Room.**

Apollo swung himself around a pole, and in a monotonous voice he had said, "It's astounding," —another swing—"Time is fleeting." He crept around the throne room, and skipped over to Athena, doing jazz hands. "Madness,"—he swung under Artemis's arm—"takes its toll," with slow, large steps, Apollo stalked toward the end of the throne room, "Listen closely."

"Not for very much longer," Aphrodite mused dully in a flat, British accent. She continued to follow Apollo across the stage, and as they finally faced each other, together they raised their hands as Apollo said, "I've got to keep control."

Forming on the other side of the throne room Hermes had begun to form a line of the gods, as they shook their hands, up and down, switching from left to right. "I remember!" He sang out, with a very raw, springy voice. "Doing the time warp!" The gods in the throne room danced forward and formed two columns of performers. "Drinking those moments when," —the two columns formed back into one, as they formed one large circle—"and the blackness would hit me," Hermes said, as the one large circle formed to smaller ones. Apollo and Aphrodite went into the opposite circle of Hermes.

"And the void would be calling," Artemis and Apollo sang together loudly.

Forming four small lines, the gods put their hands on their hips as they turned on their heels. "Let's do the time warp again!" They all echoed, putting their left hands up, shaking it.

They last rows of gods turned again, and acted as a trigger as the rest turned along with them. They repeated, "Let's do the time warp again!"

"It's just a jump to the left," Hades said, sounding rather proper. As he said this, the gods' lines faced the front of the throne room, making the columns appear more like rows. Once again they did jazz hands.

"And just a step to the right!" They echoed with enthusiasm.

"Now put your hands of you on hips!" Hades commanded, holding his chin high in the air. The gods stretched their hands high over their heads, and brought them in a circular motion, like a setting sun, back their hips.

"Now bring knees in tight!" They all sang joyously, doing exactly that. They crowded around Hades. _Pelvic thrust!_ "But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane-ay-ay-ay-ane!"

They turned, facing outward as they continued to do the pelvic thrust. "Let's do the time warp again!"

The circle around Hades disbanded, and the gods continued to robotically creep around the stage.

"It's so dreamy!" Aphrodite said, with her very own, dreamy, aurora-y voice. "Oh, fantasy! Free me!"

With a light strum, for a flash of second the gods froze in their spot, and continued as if nothing had happened.

She let her hand fall behind her, and fell to her knees. "No, you can't see me, no not at all!" Aphrodite rolled her eyes, giving herself a possessed look. "In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention. Well-secluded, I see all!"

With a kick, Apollo began to say with rhythm. "With a bit of a mind flip,"

"You're there in the time slip." Aphrodite sung, stepping forward, zombie-like.

"And nothing can ever be the same," Apollo said, bemused, back to back with Aphrodite.

Then, Aphrodite gently skipped across the throne room, "You're spaced out on sensation—"

"Like your under sedation!" Hermes cried out.

"Let's do the time warp again!"

In a soft, high pitched voice, Hestia skipped across the throne room. "Well I was walking down the street just a-having a think  
>When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink."<p>

Demeter shuffled and tap in the front of the throne room, waving around everyone. "He shook me up, he took me by surprise. He had a pickup truck and the devils stared at me and I felt a change. Time meant nothing, never would again."

"Let's do the time warp again!"

**Author's Notes: Describing the time warp was easier than I thought, and wa-pah! Two days in a row! For me, School is faster update, because I use writing to procrastinate. Also, I'm holding a writing contest that centers around this story. The info. is on my profile. PM me if you want to partake in it, because I need at least seven to twenty people to partake, and I need two more judges to help out... So... yeah..**

**Editor's Notes: I can be a judge! ****J Judging is fun. This took a day for me to notice and edit (sorry) and I liked it a lot! ****J The Time Warp; that brings me memories of glee. I want to say this … (HEEHEE.) REVIEW! *points to review button stupidly* You know you _waaaaaaaaaaanna_. Like my arrow?**

**VV  
>VV<br>VV  
>VV<br>VV  
>VV<br>VVVVVVVV  
>VVVVVV<br>VVVVV  
>VVVV<br>VVV  
>VV<br>V**


	16. Rules 120 to 129

**120. I shall never call Aphrodite a Mary-Sue.**

Artemis and Aphrodite's infamous fights- whatever it may have been about this time- had rang out, and pratcially all of Olympus had half the wits to know to stay away from the hell that had broken loose between the two. Insults were lashed out, and clothes ripped.

From one corner, Apollo, Hermes, and Hades chillaxed in a corner, ass in a technicolored lawnchair, cold beer in their hand. Practically under his breath, Hermes chanted, "Chick fight, chick fight."

Apollo thumped him in the back of his head. "That's my sister your talking about."

Hermes shrugged and rediverted his attention to the battle of two goddesses.

Artemis found herself backed in a corner, with no insults to possibly throw back at Aphrodite. As Aphrodite tooken note of her hestiantion, a look of triumph beseeched itself upon Aphrodtie's face.

Artemis looked for Hermes for guidance, perhaps he would make this some sort of rule of his absurd list. _Help, _she mouthed.

Heremes smirked mischevously, and mouthed something back.

Artemis turned on her heels to face Aphrodite, with a wide grin on her face. She pointed at Aphrodite and imtimidately took a giant stomp towards her. "You, Aphrodite, are nothing but a useless _Mary-Sue_!"

**121. Daring Apollo to learn Spanish will lead to many misunderstandings.**

Apollo had been carrying out pleasent small talk with Aphrodite in a whole another language. The Olympians had considered her the language guru- Latin, Greek, French, Italian, and Spanish... hmm... What was that? Like? An Octo-threat? Anyway, things were flowing along quite smoothly, until Apollo had confused pig for kitchen. _"Lo siento mucho. Yo soy un idiota. __Estoy embarazada."_

Aphordite raised an eyebrow at him, utterly perplexed. "_Como?"_

"Estoy embarazada."

Of course, a certain god of the underworld couldn't help but overheard and he whispered in Apollo's ear, "Embarazada doesn't mean embrassed."

Apollo snickered, and crossed his arms. Apollo retorted, "What? Yes, it does! It sounds just like it."

Hades shook his head. "Dude, you just told her you were pregnant."

**122. Shaving Apollo's luxtrocious mane of blonde willl cause the apocalyse.**

Apollo had always tended to run his hands through his hair when he had awoken, but as he did so... he felt nothing! Oh hades, he slowly rubbed his head, no, no, no, this couldn't be! He sprinted the nerest mirror, and saw the truth...

His hair was gone.

**123. I am not allowed to sneak into Ares's chambers, as it is disturbing what I may see.**

Deciding to be the bigger man, figuritately that is, Apollo decided it was time to return Ares's hairbrush. For Apollo could certainly purchase his own, one even more supermegafoxyhot than one that had been bestowed upon him by Ares.

With silent footsteps, and not a creak from the opening door, Apollo sleathly made his way into Ares's chambers, not wanting to be seen. Proceeding to the lavratory, Apollo froze in his tracks.

Ares had left the door wide-open, and Ares -wrapped in a towel and a pink showercap screatched across his bald head- had been standing in front of full length mirror, yet that was only part of his no-one-is-watching-me actions. It seemed he had accquired a new hair brush, a baby blue one with an attractive picture of Zac efron plastered across the back. He was holding this new hairbrush to his mouth, singing into it.

_"Oops! I did it again! I played with your heart, got lost in the game. HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!"_

**124. There is no "open-mike night" on Olympus.**

Hephaetus keep up a wide smile, as he slowly trotted around the stage of Olympus sininging into a golden microphone. "Trololololololololololo, Trololololoooo, Trololololololololo, Ahahahaha, Ahahahaha."

The claps for Hephaetus's eccentric performerance came in slow, and Hades walked on the stage, looking perplexed by his choice of song. "Well then..." Hades said into the golden microphone which he had recovered from Hephaetues. "That was... interesting," he held a flash card to his chest, and read, "Next we have a musical performance from... In order of appearence, Posideon, Hermes, Artemis, Aphrodite, Peresphone, Demeter, Apollo, Hecate, Athena, Perseus, Morpheus, Dionsys, and Ares."

As Hades skimpered of his stage, and into his seat, everything went black, and then was a flash upon Posedion, who sat intently on a leather trunk with his arms crossed. For some odd reason, he had been wearing circluar glasses, and his hair was curly, and matted. He had worn a stromy grey sweater, and pure white collared shirt underneath. Loosely fasten, was a silkly ties painted with scarlet and gold, but most parcuilarly, there was a- a- lighting scar etched on his forehead.

Posedioen examined his enviroment, and held an expresion that displayed both distress and confusion. With a feathery voice that could melt any girl's heart he dramatically chanted, "Underneath these stairs, I feel glares and hear the snares of my cousin," Posideon paused as he looked out into obilvion. "My uncle and my aunt." he sung slowly, sounding more distraught with every word. Turning away from the vast blackness, not meeting the audience's gaze, he sung. "Can't believe how creul they are, and it, and it stings my lighting scar," a pitch higher, for the correct essence he sang, graudally getting lower. "To know that they'll never ever give me what I want."

He rubbed both his arms, as if he where cold, with a hard strum of the piano Posedioen voice gained an almost undectectable pinge of confidennce , "I know I don't deserve these, Stupid rules made by the Dursleys Here on." He paused, and let the vowels of the next two words loan on, "Privet drive."

Keeping that small pinge of hope in his voice, but with slower, intense words that hit like a punched lamented, "Can't take all of these muggles, But despite all of my struggles," As he nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders, his lament of sadness was delve with a hint of high-handedness. "I'm still alive."

The quickly picked itslef up, and Posedieon complained, "I'm sick of summer, and this waiting around." His same look of ditress could now be tooken for that of worry, and he unfolded his arms, and rubbing his knees tentatively. "It's like I'm sitting in the lost-and-found," He bit his lip, and looked in all directions, "man it's september, and I'm sick of this town." Becoming more loose he sung, "Hey it's no mystery there's nothing here for me now!" Then his voice surged with confidence and hope as he triumphly rang out, "I gotta get back to Hogwarts," He shot up, and arised to his feet. "I gotta get back to school. Gotta get myself to Hogwarts," unlocking his inner ladies man he suavely sung, while readjusted his sloopy tie."Where everybody knows I'm cool."

Counting the items on his hands he sung, "Back to wizards, and magical beast," Break it down! "To goblins and ghost and to magical beasts." Beaming, he toatlly awesome whipped out the words, "It's all that I love and it's all that I need at HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS, I think I'm going back."

It was now when any hint of former distress had been flushed away by the currents of hope and happiness flowing though posedioen. He tooken his trunk and flipped it on side, he slapped his butoux on it again, andThe verse had come to to be sung, as he said, "Gonna see my friends gonna laugh 'til we cry. Take my Firebolt, gonna take to the sky" causaully as can be, he excalimed, "NO WAY this year anyone's gonna die, and it's gonna be totally awesome."

He slowly sprung up, and pulled a pale wooden stick from his pocket, twirling it inbeetween his fingers, "I'll cast some spells, with a flick of my wand," In a staircase like sound, the notes one by got higher as he sang, "Defeat the dark arts, yeah bring it on!" He tucked the pale wand into his left pocket, and explained. "And do it all with my best friend Ron, 'cuz together we're totally awesome."

Out of the main focus, a door swung, open and a new voice cue in. "Yeah, and it's gonna be toatlly awesome." Hermes said, his voice rocketing with rhythm. Loose strands of blonde hair could be seen sticking out up his wig that was a deep red color, under the fringe of hair was faded blue head band, and he outfit resembled Posideon's. He shut the door behind him and with a wide smile on his face he energentricly asked, "Did somebody say Ron Weasley?"

With large springy steps, Hermes marched over to Posideon and they pulled each other in a cradling hug. "Hey, what's up buddy?"

Pulling apart from the hug, Posideon nodded, "Hey,"

As Posideon grabbed a hold of his onyx truck, Hermes blabbered an excuse for his tardiness. Eventaully he jumped to the point, and said, "We gotta get going so grab your trunk, and we'll get going."

"We are we going?"

"To Diagon Alley," Hermes roared, wide-eyed.

"Cool."

"C'mon."

Posideon and Hermes interlocked their arms, and quickly marched in a circles and they simotanously chanted, "Floo powder, powder powder, floo powder powder, floo powder powder, floo powder powder."

The stage illimnated with hot pink, as Hermes sung, nudging Posideon. "It's been so long, but we're going back  
>Don''t go for work, don't go there for class."<p>

Posideon jumped in with Hermes, putting his arm around Hermes he quickly added, "As long as were together"

"gonna kick some ass" Hermes sung back , mimicking him. In unison they sung,

"and it's gonna be totally awesome!This year we'll take everybody by storm, Stay up all night, sneak out of our dorm."

"But let's not forget that we need to perform well in class, If we want to pass our OWLS!" A voice rang out with joy, to everyone's surprise it was Artemis with thick, bushy brown hair, that look stale and had split ended. She wore a light grey sweater vest, a tie to match Posedioen and Hermes, and a very unaphrodite long, dark grey pencil skirt.

The stage completely lit up, and groups people formed behind them. Hermes sighed, and rolled his eyes. "Oh gods, Hermione why to you have to be such a buzzkill."

"Because guys school's not all about having fun," Artemis lectured the two hooligans. "We need to study hard if we want to be good witches and wizard's." It was more than obvios Artemis had took on the role of Hermione to take a jab and Athena, as for she was mimicking her. Hermes groaned as Artemis sang out, "I may be frumpy, but I'm super smart  
>Check out my grades, they're "A's" for a startWhat I lack in looks well I make up in heart, And well guys, yeah, that's totally awesome," She bena to take on another verse beofore interupted by Ron, "This year I plan to study a lot..."<p>

"That would be cool if you were actually hot." He interjected, throwing Artemis on edge.

Posideon pleaded. "Hey Ron, come on, we're the only friends that she's got!"

Hermes shrugged. "And that's cool..."

"... and that's totally awesome" Hermes added.

Together they voice strung with a meledious amount of joy. "Yeah it's so cool, and it's totally awesome! We're sick of summer and this waiting around It's like we're sitting in the lost and found Don't take no sorceryFor anyone to see how...We gotta get back to HogwartsWe gotta get back to school We gotta get back to Hogwarts Where everything is magic-cooooool."

It was not long before the sea of stranger which occupied the space behind them, repeating the chrous Posideon lamented earlier. "Back to wizards and witches, and magical beastsTo goblins and ghosts and to magical feastsIt's all that I love, and it's all I love and it's all that I need at HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS,

The trio's meledious vocie were left alone to whip out the final line of supermegafoxyawesomehotness, "I think where going back."

As the trio was about to march off the Olympus stage, a whiny voice had rung out, and skipped up to Hermes. "Ro-ooh-oon!" A Read-headed god had skipped up to Hermes, she had been weaing a long-sleeved collared button down, and well-done tie silky red tie. Around her waist was a short, jet black skirt that certainly did not match the eccentric yellow wooden shoes upon her feet. Hades recognized this god as Hecate, the god of dark Magic. "You were supposed to take me to Madame Malkin's with those sickles mom gave yo for my robe fititngs!"

"Who's that?" Posideon asked, gesturing to the lovely red head who had approched Hermes.

With his hands shoved into the pockets of his dark grey khaki's, Hermes explanined, "This is stupid little dumb Ginny, my little sister. She's a freshman, Ginny, this is Harry," Posedioen and Hecate shaked hands, as Hermes added, "Potter, this is Harry Potter."

"You're Harry Potter," she choked out, completey starstruck by his presence. "You're the boy-who-lived."

Poseidoen nodded, and gestured towards her. "Yeah, and you're Ginny."

Nodding more than once, Hecate blubbered, "It's Ginevera."

"Cool, Ginny's fine." Posideon said, more than bored by Hecate's charactered presence.

"Stupid sister!" Hermes called out, clapping his hands around Ginny's nose, which caused her to scream in pain. "Don't crowd the famous friend." Hermes giggled as Poseidon and Hermes out thier arms around one another.

A familar tone of chiming bells rang out from a far out corner, "Do you guys hear music?" Artemis asked, and Ron agreed.

Their attention was quickly averted to line of three girls, shortest to tallest, filed in, one foot in front of the other, hands clasped together, as if they were praying. "Cho Chang, Domo arigato, Cho Chang, Gung Hey Fat Choy, Chang, Happy Happy New Year, Cho Chang."

"Oh... Who's that?" Hecate asked, looking to Hermes for a possible rationality. "Oh, that's Cho Chang. The girl Harry's has toatlly been in love with since freshmen year."

Posideon began to do warm-up excerises as Artemis complained, "Yeah, but he won't say anything to her."

Hermes quickly snap back saying, "Yeah, but you don't tell a girl you like her, it makes you look like an idiot."

Hecate quickly scurried to the possy of girls, and tapped on Peresphone's shoulder. Peresphone turned around, confused. "Konnishiwa Cho Chang," Hecate bowed. The girls behind her giggled. "It is good to met you. I am Ginny Weasley.

"Bitch, I ain't Cho Chang." Peresphone snapped, leaving Hecate taken back.

"That's Lavender Brown! Racist sister!" Hermes scolded her, as Hermrs rejoined Poseidon, Hermes, and Aphrodite.

Aphrodite, wearing a similar outfit with a silver and Navy tie, walked over Hecate, and lightly skimped her shoulder with her hand. "That's alright, hon. I'm Cho Chang, ya'll."

As Aphrodite arogantly ran her hands though her caramel brown hair, Posedioen and Hermes continued on their conversation about her. "She's toatlly perfect!" Poseidoen exclaimed, it was almost a miracle Aphrodite had not heard him.

"Yeah, too bad she's dating Credic Diggory." Ron commented.

"What?" Posedioen exclaimed, his voice cracking, "Who the hell is Credic Diggory?"

Suddenly, Apollo ripped his way on the staged, dressed in the classic school uniform, with a golden tie, and a long black robe. He bellowed. "Oh, Cho Chang! I am so in love with Cho Chang!" He bursted foward, knocking everyone down. He apporached her, and took Aphrodite's hand, twirling her into his arms. "From Bangkok to Ding Dang, I sing my love aloud for Cho Chang." Everyone slowly got steadily on their feet. Apollo, Aphrodite, Demeter, and Peresphone ran off the stage gracefully.

"I hate guy!" Posideon exclaimed.

Hemes agreed, and quickly directed his focus towards his sister. "Are we going to get those robes or not?"

"Okay, Okay! Let's go!" Ginny said, rising to both her feet and the occasion.

"Dumb sister!" Hermes proclaimed as the group exited the stage.

As soon as the group left, a knew face made its way across the stage. In quick steps, and keeping his head down, Dionsys walked foward, he had a long black robe on, and a long scarf striped with bright red and yellow.

He was abrutly stopped by two large gods- Morepheus and Perseus. Dionsys recoiled and jumped back in fear.

"Give us your arm, nerd!" Morpheus commanded, in a deep. raspy voice. Hestiantly, Dionsys pulled back his sleeve, and raised his left arm to Morpheus. With a flick of his wand, Morpheus yelled. "Indian Burn!"

"Argh-garh-argh!" Dionsys cried out, falling to his knees.

Poseidoen slowly walked on the stage, and with worry said, "Ah gods, Crabbe and Goyle."

"Are you okay?" Hecate exclaimed, rushing onto the stage, and kneeling by his side. She quickly took him off stage with her.

Poseidoen took a few triumphant steps towards Crabbe and Goyle. "Hey, hey, why don't you leave Neville longbottom alone."

"Well, well, Harry Potter, you think because your famous, you can boss everyone around!" Morpheus said, right up against Poseidoen face.

"Nah, nah, I just don't think its cool for guys your size to be picking on guys like Neville." Posedioen ration, putting his hands ups in a _what-the-fuck _gesture. c'mon?"

"Well, you know what I think? I think glasses are for nerds!" He howlered, taking Poseidoen's glasses right off his face. "DIE!" He yelled as he ripped Posedioen's glasses in half.

"Oh gods, my glasses." Posedioen weeped, mourning his broken glasses which now layed in his hands.

"Hey, you don't mess with Harry Potter!" Hermes called from afar. "He defeated the dark lord as a baby!"

"Alright, Everyone just claim down," Artemis said, taking a deep breath or two. He made her way towards harry and the broken glasses, and aptly said, "_Oculaus Reparo!"_

"Whoa!" Posedioen exclaimed as the once broken glasses flew back on his face, fully repaired. Realizing such evently, Posideon blankly said, "Oh cool."

Taking Posedioen's arm, Artemis said, "Now let's just leave this baby-ish jerks alone!" Hermione said, as they began to exit. But where call back into the scene as the most infamous, memorable line in the whole play was cued.

"DID SOMEONE SAY DRACO MALFOY?" Athena howlered, emerging from the darkness of the lower-left stage. She was daped in long black robe, and her pale blonde hair had been done in a cutesy pixie cut, making her large grey eyes shine. Under the surface of a woolen gray cardigan a dark forest green and radiant silver tie rested on her bossoms.

**125. Telling the Aphrodite Cabin there is a Darren Criss concert on Olympus is never a good idea.**

The Olympians had been carrying out their daily activies, and Toddler Zeus sat prompt on his thrown, preoccupying himself with his rubber ducky, as he let his curlers set in his hair. Abrutly, the ground began to shake, and rumbling. the sound of metal clinging against metal rang in his ears. There was clatter, incidating objects being broken. Zeus was half compeled to yell out, "The sky is falling! The sky is falling!" For what could this be? An Earthquake of sorts?

The shaking ceased, and Zeus's let a sigh of relief escaped him.

Then,

there was a small, _ding._

The rumbling came back bigger and stronger than ever. Along the horizon, Zeus saw crowds of wild, screaming teenage girls- and the occasanally flamboyant teenage male- filing out the elvator, they came closer, and closer, causing nothing but destruction in their path.

The over-testroned teens made their way into the the throne room, and Zeus decided this couldn't go on any further. "Silence!" Zeus bellowed out. The wild crowd came to a hault. He smirked, even as a toddler nothing could contain his badass mojo. He smirk of pride fell to glare of imtimidation and he slammed his fist against the arm rest of his throne. "State your buisness."

An half-idian girl with chocolate brown hair, and silvery-grey cleared her throat. Zeus recognized her as the love interest of his son on the Roman side, Jason. "We were told their was a Darren Criss concert to partake."

**126. Posideon is not a bowling pin. I will not attempt to prove ****otherwise.**

Hades knew it was wrong to do, and against the right morales to do this, but he could not help it. He keep a firm gripp. "Remember Nico," Hades advised his son in a fatherly tone, that Hades one used once in a blue moon. "Steady aim."

Nico nodded, and puffed out his chest, holding a bowling ball to it. He saw Posideon walking by, and his father ordered, "Now!"

With all his twevele year old might, Nico rolled the ball in Posedioen's direction. It hit Posideon's foot at full blast. As soon as Hades saw his foot trasintion a throbbing purple color, Hades yelled, "RUN!"

And so he took Nico and ran away, making all the fugly mary-sues jealous.

**127. (By high demand) Introducing the gods to the mysterious ticking noise will lead to the annyonce of Zeus.**

Hades wondered into a spare room in the east wing of Olympus. The spare room that Athena's daughter had designed was arched, vast and fairly... blue. Piercing the silence in the room was a mysterious ticking noise, exasperating Hades. "Hmm... What is that mysterious ticking noise? Nothing overheard nothing over there," he said, exmained the empty room that laid before him. "Kinda... catchy?" Tapping his hand to his hip, mimicking the rhythm he said, "Snape, Snape, Severus Snape."

"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape." Hermes heard as he wondering into the room with Hades, and oddly feeling compelled to sing along. "Dumbledore!" He cried, adding a new, quirkty essence to his voice.

"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape!"

Dumbledore!"

Just then, Dionsys blankly wondering in the spare room, as filed into a straight line with the two. "Ron, Ron, Ron Weasley!"

"Snape."

"Ron!"

"Snape."

"Ron!"

"Severus Snape."

"Ron Weasley!"

"DUMLEDORE!"

Out of nowhere, Athena teleported to the source of thier singing, perfectly in line with them. "Her-eeerrr-mione, Her-er-Mione!"

"Her-er-mione!"

"Snape."

"Ron!"

"Her-er-mione!"

"Snape."

"Ron!"

"Her-er-mione!"

"Severus Snape."

"Ron Weasley!"

"Her-er-mione!"

"DUMLEDORE!"

With a very large stride in his steps, Posideon trotted in the room, his marching, trimupt steps following along to the beat of "I'm Harry Potter, Harry, Harry, Potter."

"I'm Harry Potter."

"Her-er-mione!"

"Snape."

"Harry."

"Ron!"

"Harry."

"Her-er-mione!"

"Potter."

"Snape."

"Ron!"

"I'm Harry Potter."

"Her-er-mione!"

"Severus Snape."

"Harry."

"Ron Weasley!"

"Harry"

"Her-er-mione!"

"Potter."

"DUMBLEDORE!"

"Snape!

"Harry!"

"Snape!"

"Harry!"

"Snape!"

"Harry!"

"DUMBLEDORE!"

They feasted their eyes on the horror of naked Hermes, but shrugged his indecentcy off.

"Singing our song," they sung together, "All day long at OH-LYM-PUS!"

"I've found the source of the ticking!" Dionsys exclaimed. "It's a pipe bomb."

"YAY!"

_BOOSH!_

"Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Zeus sung out with triumph. "Voldeymort, Voldeymort, Oh, Voldie, Voldie, Voldeymort!"

**128. Renting Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Theif movie will just 'cause a riot.**

The ending credits cascaded across the screen, and the gods gaped in aw, all their jaws dropped at the EPIC FAIL Holywood bequeath upon them. Ares was the first to break the silence, "Oh. my. fuck. Did they just cut out Clarisse? a key character in Percy's life. Fuck, they cut out me completely." Ares bellowed out, not even bothering to take note on his choice of potty words.

"Wait, wait, I just don't understand why Annabeth was played by an OLD-ASS!" Athena complained, throwing a handful of popcorn at the T.V. screen. "I could deal with a brown haired actress, but can she be not in her twenty's, and a good actress."

"Grover's black." Artemis said frankly, not bothering to say a word else.

Hermes shrugged, "But Black grover was funny. I pretty much laughed every time he spoke."

"Yes," Artemis agreed. "It did feed my thirst for lolz, but It didn't capture his personality at all. They took out all the spunk that is Grover, before Grover had so much personality with his stammering blubberingness, with a hint of secret badass. Now he's just lame."

"Yes, his neuoritrcness itself provides many lolz, but my sons would replace his wise-crack with pure awesome."

"Where's Thalia?" Zeus cried out in anger, making the spitting image of the infamous WHY NO U? "You can't just do snap a key-plotline like that."

"Dude, where is my almighty god of coke-ness? Do I still get no glory? Even in the Mortal world?"

"'Ey Zeus," Apollo said, scrolling through his ipod. "Says here Thalia was mentioned in a deleted scene. So was Nancy, but Nancy was playing by... an asian."

"Omfg," Aphrodite prompted her rant, "One) I am played by a fugly bitch," everyone rolled their eyes. It was obvious that the actress for Aphrodite was absolutely stunning. "Two) Not to turn to into a happy-crapper, but couldn't they cut out the part where the _kids_ get _drunk, _at a _casino, _and easily replace it with the Thalia scene."

Hades, who had just awaken from a nap, streched out his arms, and lamented. "I would have started out from the titan's curse. Nico would provide the lulz, but also becomes really relateable in the end. There's amazing aspects and excitement that would avoid me falling asleep, and it provides enough information to not be completely lost."

Demeter nodded, and said, "If there is one thing that's for sure, it's this. Disney Channel would have done it a better justice than this piece of Holywood crap."

**139. I will not ask Athena to direct me to the manga section in the divine library.**

Hermes had spent tedious hours roaming the vast, endless divine libary, that was more that 20 stories high. He wandered every corner.

"HEY ATHENA!" He howlered, piercing the silence of the cold library.

"sssh!" She hushed him, keeping an order of silence in the libarary.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS THE MANGA SECTION IN THIS PLACE? I NEED MY DAILY DOSE OF DEATH NOTE!"

**Author's Notes: Writing Comedy is my greatest escape. Going through a rough times with mi familia. Anyone got any good stoires? Possible cheering up ness? Plus, when you all tell me your stories, I get the greatest ideas for rules... Anyway, enough about me, I need more contest contestants... Please? I am acepting 20 max. LOVE YA'LL! Enterance ends September 1st.**

**Ugh... I'm forgetting to tell you all something... Oh, and, for those who it may concern, If I were to carry the whole AVPM gotta get to hogwarts thing, Ares would have been Dumbles. :)**

**Oh... I'm have an idea for a story, which is a bit of rationality for the movie: **_**Percy Jackson Movie: Rewrite**. _**It's about to movie directors, and they buy the rights to PJO to rewrite it. So it's kinda an OC story, but not really. Lol, 10 reviewers say they're interested I write it.**

**Also, I am writng a mother fucking novel. (I am singing as I write this)**

**Lala! And This mother freaker is going to Olympian week. Detail at www(.)heroesofolympus(.)com  
><strong>


	17. Rules 130 to 138

**131. I did not see Artemis in the Anteroom singing 'I Kissed a Girl' and I should stop telling people that I****did.**

"Apollo," Zeus said rubbing his forehead; he could be nothing but vexed by the recent findings. "Now, Artemis is your sister."

Apollo immediately rolled his eyes. "Blah, blah, Boundaries. I know, but you shouldn't really be talking con-"

"Remember who you're talking too, my son," Zeus half-growled, remembering to keep his orderly godliness in which made him such a B.A.M.F. "Now, certain incest 'relations' you may be having with your sister do not concern me in the slightest. Given her persona, it would be hard to imagine. Yet, I do fear you may be rubbing off on her... in a _different _sense."

Apollo tentatively glanced from side to side, perplexed by what Zeus could be implying. "What do you mean?"

Zeus inhaled through his nose. Why must he go through all this elaboration to explain this to his idiotic son? "Child, I know you are the god of Music. And yes, music is a fine art, the finest of the fine arts, but I believe Artemis might have taken a wrong path down the lane of musical endorsement."

"Father, the point please."

"Ugh fine, Hermes told me he saw Artemis in the shower singing 'I Kissed a Girl' by Katy Perry."

Normally, Apollo would have burst out laughing in such a situation, but if there was one thing he was good at, It was pointing out the flaw in that sentence. His expression became flat, "Zeus," Apollo said monotonously, giving him a flat, _are you an idiot? _look. "Hermes said he saw Artemis in the shower during this occurrence."

"Yes, but, I don't see what that has to-," Zeus stopped his word in their tracks, leaving them trailed off. his grip on his forehead loosened, and his jaw slowly dropping. "Oh gods," he said with his eyebrows furrowed, and he let out all small choke. "Oh! Oh gods!" Zeus let out a large hurl of barf. However, of course, he could not linger on his spewing when Hades would clean it up for him later on. "Son," Zeus addressed the sun god. Apollo was fazed, for it had been so long since his father had called him that. "I do believe we have some serious ass whooping to do."

"You got it dad."

**132. Same goes for 'Hunterlicious'**

Nothing kills a god like one laugh-out-loud hilarious lie, and hint of family bonding amongst the gods. But was Hermes going to stop there? No! Did he have a ripping pain that no woman could understand! Hell to the yes! But Alas, Where would he be today if he stopped pranking? Okay, okay, maybe a few less trips to the hospital, less "accidental" trips to Vegas, maybe The Lost City of Atlantis would just be 'Atlantis, and maybe, just maybe-' Okay! Never mind, but point made.

So... of course, Hermes couldn't stop there.

"Wait," Hades said, pausing for moment. He put his hand firmly, and looked like he was thinking hard. _Dammnit_, Hermes thought, _He's on to me_. "So... Hunterlicious?"

Hermes bit his lip. "Yep, circa 2011. Parody a la Fergilious."

Hades whispered to himself, and began to sing the song under his breath. "_Fergilious, Definition, make them boys go loco," _He looked up back to Hades. "Okay, I'm a bit lost, So... Hunterlicious. How would the lyrics to this go?"

Hermes smirked, and took a few steps back. "Watch and learn my friend,"

_Four, tres, two, uno__Listen up y'all?__cause this is it__The beat that I'm bangin' is delicious__Hunterlicious definition__Make them boys go loco__They want my quiver__So they get they get turned into jackalopes_

**133. Demanding to the Zeus why the gods weren't out magically helping the Giant Panda populations is highly frowned****upon.**

It was not often a satyr got the pleasure of visiting Olympus, yes, It had been quite some time since Grover had seen the place not mangled and shitted upon by the titans. Truly, Annabeth had done an excellent job, but that was beside the point. Grover galloped his way toward the throne room, and gulped as he faced the mighty Zeus, whom sat on his throne, lightning bolt in hand. "Sir Zeus," Grover bowed, sweat oozing out his pores. "I have a proposition. I would like to help save the Giant population with your godly powers."

**134. Selling photo-shopped pictures of Poseidon and Zeus making out is not a way to earn money, nor shall I use it to make the other Olympian pee and/or shit their own pants.**

Hades was nothing but satisfied, the color in Athena's face paled considerably; she literally looked like a ghost. The sparkle in her currently twitching eyes faded, and nothing but dark vibes were emanating from her.

"What's wrong with her?" Poseidon asked his brother Hades, who looked completely contempt as he watched the goddess of wisdom have the lively wind blown out of her... if that wind was ever lively at all.

"Unadulterated shock." Hades said coolly, his lips pulling in a smirk. Out of the corner of his eyes, Poseidon spotted his sly smirk.

Poseidon's jaw dropped, and he turned on his heels to face Hades. "Hades, Hades!" He screamed. "What the name of you did you do to her?"

Out of the pocket of his jacket, Hades pulled out a photo and handed it to him as Poseidon eyes' spotted upon the photo... He, well, feinted.

"The power of Photoshop," Hades mused, "The power of Photoshop."

**135. Hades has no interest in going down 'to the paradise city, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty' and I should stop sending invitations to aforementioned place.**

Hades yawned, and fluttered his eyes open; he saw that the artificial sun on Olympus had risen. Its bright light shed through his window, causing him to groan. Frankly, he'd rather stay in the Underworld, but with the list and everything staying on Olympus was much more convenient. Besides, Persephone would probably make him sleep on the couch again, while he watched the kitchen to make sure Nico didn't try anything funny with his beloved cookie jar.

He rose from the bed, and looked around the room, yes; it was certainly not the underworld. With the white washed walls that were plastered with luxurious, intricate designs, and the walls that where lined by pure gold. Even Hephaestus's forge was the epitome of elegant. It... just didn't suit Hades... Perhaps that would make a good addition to the list; _I shall not paint all the _rooms_ in Olympus black. _Heh, perfect, this rule might even come in his favor.

A smile reached his face with the thought, and fantasies of darkness filled his head. Abruptly breaking his fantastys', he heard the muffled sound of footsteps, which was rather prominent on the marble, coming towards his room. He raised an eyebrow. Who in their right mind would visit him at this hour? Why, Hades still had his black pajamas with thin grey pinstripes on them, and not to mention his beautiful hair was, in fact, far from beautiful.

The sound of the footsteps came to a halt, and a note was slipped under the door. The piercing sound of feet against marble continued, and then mused into silence. But this note, what was Hades to make of it? Was it from Aphrodite, finally proclaiming her love for him? Yes! Yes! Could those clanking footsteps be the sound of her high heels? Glorious!

With this thought, Hades rushed to the door, and practically ripped it open. Though, he was disappointed when he found these words on the paper:

_My Dear Hades,_

You are cordially invited to no other than the paradise city, where the grass is certainly green, and the long-legged girls are nothing short of pretty. Please feel free to contact Hermes with your response if you have even the slightest in paying a curt visit to the aforementioned place of solitude and peace.

**136. Athena does not find the phrase "Poseidon is my baby daddy" remotely humorous.**

Athena gracefully trudged the halls of Olympus, trying to the erase the unholy pictures of incest among the Big Three. _They were fake, _she repeated, _They were only photo shopped, _she gulped, _really well-y photo shopped, _she "sweat-dropped" and began to panic, _Well-y? That's not even a word? WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO ME?_

"Poseidon is my baby daddy." A familiar voice said from her right.

Athena headed turn slowly to the direction of the voice, almost like an owl. "What did you just say?"

It was none other than Hermes who had a copy of _Bleach _in his lap. It looked like he found his own Anime section in the library then. Oh, gods... what the Hades was Athena supposed to do with this audacious hack of a god? "Just something I think you'd find humorous." Hermes said, a sly smirk on his face... as usual...

_Just walk away, _Athena thought, _Just walk away, don't let this excuse for an immortal get to you. _And so, Athena did exactly that... she walked away, with robotic step. Why did her legs feel like lead?

"Why so tense?" Hermes asked, slapping his book shut. "Unless... It's true."

It wasn't long before Hermes felt the impact of a Webster dictionary hit his forehead.

**137. Never convince Hades to brush up on his Italian. More foreign misunderstandings in the foreign Language department may follow.**

Well, Maria did convince him to learn Italian, and perhaps his speaking it randomly was just a whim. Anyway, Of all, Why would Hestia even chose him to watch her cat? Secondly, why did her cat have to wonder into Demeter's holy garden, and climb into a tree? Honestly, if cats hated trees, why did they go in them now or in any taxi cartoon for that matter? _"Giu! Giu!" _Hades hollered at the cat, not even bothering to notice his use of a foreign language. "_Dai, Dai! Giu! Dai Giu!"_

He looked to his left, Hestia was glaring at him. "What?" Hades inquired, wondering Hestia's reasons for this evil glare.

"Really, Hades? Die Jew? That's just racist."

Hades eyes widened, not realizing how a purely English-speaker might take this wrong. "No! No! That's not-"

"No wonder you spawned Hitler."

**138. I shall never implant ideas into Hestia's head, especially when it involves bringing "culture" to Olympus.**

Taking a deep breath seemed to help Hades muster up the courage to knock on Hestia's door. "Yes?" A female voice asked, still sounding exasperated from the misunderstandings of the previous rule.

"Can we talk?" Hades asked, suddenly feeling trapped in an episode of Glee or some high school drama. Hades could hear Hestia's grown through the door, and Hestia, in her average nine-year-old form, opened the door. "Look," Hades said, sighing, and dropping all his weight on the side of the door's threshold. "I'm sorry about earlier today, but I really was serious. _Dai_ in Italian means come on or hurry, and _Giu _means down. Honest to Zeus."

"Hmph." Hestia grunted, crossing her arms. "I am not amused."

"Look Hestia," Hades almost grunted, "If it means so much to you, I'll even teach an Italian class here on Olympus if it means _so _much to you."

Hestia's unamused face quickly changed into one of spastic triumphant. "Hades, that's not a bad idea. Yes, we already know, Latin, English, a bit of Spanish, and Greek... WHY NOT ITALTIAN? I must plan at once." **Author's Notes: I don't know... I cut it off here for a reason... I feel like the next and final chapter of rules deserves twelve rules, now, Please jam pack me with hilarious rule ideas... preferably PM me them... if you put them in a review... It tends to spoil it.**

**No, I haven't read Son of Neptune... I have it, but I want to preserve it so I'm reading it little by little. My friends say I'm torturing myself. lol.**

**Don't worry; next update won't take an entire month. Promise. **


	18. Hera Returns

**The Following takes place Toward the End of the Lost Hero, were Hera as Free, and the next to chapters shall lead into the Son of Neptune. No Spoilers, except the one I just leaked you. Lol. Hera was Freed.**

_Hallelujah! Hallelujah!_

The loud, harminous bellows of the latin word woke the gods of Olympus, and they all trudged out of their quarters. Seeing each other yawning, and still in each other's pajama's. Infact, They were so tired, they didn't even the strength to taunt Ares for his full-body, cotton Spongebob pajama's. Even, The promenince of Zeus's hair bright pink hair curlers was ignored.

_Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Halle-eh-lu-jah!  
><em>  
>A blinding, sparkling was slowly and angelically flying from the horizon. Hermes surpressed the urge to yell, "Edward Cullen has learning to fly!", he just couldn't make jokes until he had his Starbucks.<p>

As the figure drew nearer, Blue-white wings were obvious on it, and there was a curly-haired goddess descending down with a divine, goat skin dress. Finally, Hermes sucked in strength and yelled, "Bitch, were the hell have you been?" Not only had he lucked out on many rules, but Zeus knows what the hades she's been poking her head in.

"Hera!" Zeus yelled, idenifing the figure. "My Zeus," he didn't seem to realized the arrogance in refering to himself as he ran down from his quarters, and all the way to her. "You've been freed."

"Your Roman Spawn, Jason." Hera said quickly, not meeting his eyes. "I decided to not kill him. Now, where is Aphrodite? I have an appointment for a pedicure with her. Us, girls, need to tend to things."

"Like... gossip?"

"Men don't realize its importantance." Artemis said from behind, causing Hermes to gape.

"You too? I didn't even know you got pedicures."

Artemis hit him on the back of the head with the flat of a sword that came from nowhere. Her and Hera proceeded without a word down long marbles steps to the stairs of olympus.

"You are a lucky god, Hermes." Zeus said.

"Why is that?"

"You don't have a wife."

_Author's notes: Finished Son of Neptune. Filler Chapter. Makes This FanFiction Longer. Savor it. Tried to make funny. Failed._

_Thinking of making A Mark Of Athena fic. Been to Rome. Knows door of death location. I could do it._

_Setence Fragments. Useful._


	19. Rules 139 to 145

139. I shall not bring up Artemis's feminine side... If I know whats good for me.

Dionsys gave artemis wrinkled, clearly fake smile. Hades dammnit how did hermes convince him this was a good idea. "Oh, Artemis," he said so brightly it was frightening. "I noticed you're wearing lip-gloss."

"Why yes," her serious immiedatelt changed as she sturck a frightening pose. "I CRAFTED IT FROM THE BLOOD AND FAT OF A POLAR I KILLED WITH MY OWN BOW AND QUIVER!"

140. Do not interrupt Hades's beauty sleep, trust me, he needs it/ 132. I shall not use clever disguises to that advantage of the wine god's drunken state.

Somewhere in the Underworld, a phone was ringing, causing a gisgruntled Hades tossed in turned in his bed. An exasperated groan escaped from his lips as the god of the Underworld lazily reached his hand to the reciever, and pulled it to his face. "Do you freaking realize what time it is?"

"Hello this is your neighborhood, florist!"

Hades frowned, and complied a list possible suspects. "Who put you up to this? Demeter or Hermes?" He asked the god of wine.

Dionsys sighed, "I kind of got drunk and bought a cart full of flowers from some mysterious woman named June. Mind taking some off my hands?"

"Dionsys, I don't think flowers are in the Underworld's critea."

"Then what in Zeus's name am I suppposed to do with these?"

"Figure it out!" Hades Said, slamming the reciever.

141. Never shall I ever speak about obtaining Zeus throne, nor my perverse ambitions when I do so.

A smirk tugged at Posedion's lips as he swaggered down the halls of Olympus. "Hmph, things would so different if I were running this place and not that idiot Zeus."

Athena took a deep breath, and folded her arms across chest. "You shouldn't make such audacious remarks. Zeus would consider it treason. Personally, I Rather not seen you thrown off Olympus."

Apollo sport a wide grin. "Yeah, Poseidon. Do you have a deathwish or something?"

"Funny you ask, Apollo. When I'm of Olympus, All the godesses will require to wear... TINY MINSKIRTS!"

Meanwhile...

Aphrodite let out a sheer giggle, and jumped in her bed, striking a pose that strangely reminded Artemis of Nicki Minaj. "When I seize control of this joint, All the gods must be shirtless, and will be our slaves."

142. Flowers suck ass.

Dioynsis smiled, this time a little less faslely. This rule he was going to enjoy breaking. "Here," Dionsys pulled a bounquet of flowers from behind his back, and them to Artemis. "Congratulations on slaughthering that polar bear."

"What the hell are these?" Artemis asked bitterly, staring hard the pink montrosity in her hands.

"They're hydengas," He answered, beaming wryly. "They represent lady-likeness and feminine charm."

Artemis threw the flowers in the air, and snapped her fingers, igniting them with fire. "Get the hell off my property."

143. I shall never show Artemis Nigahiga's video about feminism/ 137. I shall never put George and Martha on mute.

Traffic was horrible on the way back from starbucks. Hermes sincerely believed that the elderly should have to renew their driver's license everytime they got a new liver spot. He wanted nothing more than to plummit down on his ged, grab his godly laptop, and curl up to watch Ouran Highschool host club for hours.

He kicked off sandals, but they continued to pester him as they flapped around his head. Still, George and Martha could not refrain from arguing like an old married couple. He pulled out the cell he had bounded the snakes too, and put the damn two on mute.

He sat down at his desk... But... His laptop... His laptop had shimmering, silver arrow stuck through it.

144. I shall never stab a good friend in the back.

"He said he wants to make a the godesses wear tiny minskirts," Ares whispered in Hephaetues' ear.

Hephatues chuckled, and began to stroke his beard. "Ha, well he has my support."

Ares shrugged, and said, "Hehe, I'd like to how that distracts the enenmy's."

"What are you talking about?" Poseidon called at the rabblerousers, "In my minskirt harem, they will be no need for men! I shall be surronded by goddesses all the time!"

...

R.I.P

Poseidon

Lover of Minskirts

Fish Enthusist

Badass MC

Killed before acclomplishing his goal.

145. I am not sexy. I do not know it, and they're is absolutely is no way that I need to show it.

Hermes and Hades strode in, hoisting a large boom boxes over their shoulders. Tight, cheetah prints hugged their butox, and assorted awkward areas. Heavy chain weighed on their necks, and large, obnoxious glasses were bequeathed their faces... And, and, since... Since when did Hades have an afro.

_Author's Notes: Don't kill me, but i've decided against writing Underworld. I'm sorry, but I'd feel it'd be in my best interests to stop with these. I've used up all of my ideas, and updates are more than a chore than I like to admit. If I ever were to write an '150 things' again, It would be 150 things I'm not allowed to do in the Amestris State Miltary, for the full metal alchemist fandom which is now my go-to. I'm not as into Harry Potter, and especially Percy Jackson because I've been consumed by Conlonel Mustang's flames of sexiness._

_And once I finish this arch, I'll be free to write more assorted one-shots, and such. Thank you for your undying support guys, And Happy Holidays :)_

_Five rules this chapter. I'm not quite ready to let go._


	20. Rules 149 to TROLOLOLOLO

**146. ****Hades. Ballet. They do not mix.**

Hades felt as light as a feather as he twirled in his, man-leotard. He felt so elegant, and in touch with his inner self. The anger and sallow despression of the Underworld was seeping out of him. He felt calm. . . and . . . all warm inside. He continued to sing brightly with the up tone beats that echoed through the throne room, "I feel pretty," she sung, "I feel so pretty and witty and bright!"

**147. I shall not follow Hera around with a list of Zeus infidel affairs.**

"Well, not to mention that Grace girl with the 80's hair, they're was also that time when he went down into the world world as turquoise llama and spread that STD - "

Hera sighed, and faced the god of idiots- I mean- pranksters. "Hermes, I'm smarter than that. I know Zeus would never go down as a llama, let alone a turquoise one and - "

"No, there's proof." He replied, nodding his head rapidly.

Hera grimanced, and raised eyebrow at Hermes. "Really? What?"

"One person on this earth still has it, and it's been spreading it through out Miami beach, wait, Italy now if I'm not mistaken - "

"The point?"

"Well, where do I begin? There once was pint-sized monkey of a person, she got raped by a bag of dorritos, and her name was snooki."

**148. Gladiators were Roman. Not** **greek.**

Poseidon chugged his trident across the throne room, missing Zeus by an ear. The Trident remained in the wall behind him, and the other gods gasped and mumbled about his actions. Had the miniskirt idea gone to his head?

Poseidon raised his hands at him side, his face raged with badass. "Are you not entrained?" he ask the audience of gods.

Not a single shit was given.

"ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?"

still not shit given.

"IS THIS NOT WHY YOU ARE HERE?"

**149. I shall not use Bessie as a volley ball.**

The cow-seperant like creature glided in-between the hands of the gods, and they're almighty godly strength. They continued to play with the animal, as it mooed when it was spiked. Aphrodite went to smash it, and it in, but Bessie strayed off the courts and took a direct hit to . . . Ares' new motorcycle.

Hermes had the funeral home on speed dial.

_Author's notes: I'm completely blowing off my beta. -.- I'm such a stubborn fuck. Anyway, Horrible rules. Last rule will be twisted, and have a slef-intersetion of me, to cause mayhem, doing how I please. Please tell me a bunch of random crap to put in it. Seriously, the most random things you can think off.  
><em>  
><em>P. S. I actually did end up writing '150 things' for Fullmetal. I'd like to apologize, lmao. It's not like I'm not writing it instead of Underworld. I can actually update almost every two days because it's just me recycling many of the rules from the PJATO ones. <em>

_I'll run away from all your torches and pitchforks now._


	21. Final Farewells

**150. I shall not leave the list where Zeus can find it. **

"What's this?" Zeus said, snatching a roll of parchment from Hermes' clutches.

"Oh- ah - Zeus, sir. You see- ah- I-"

"150 things I'm not allowed to do on mount olympus?"

"What tomfoolery is this? What is this terrible hullabaloo?"

"Sir, I can explain-"

"Who knew about this?"

Ironically, every hand in Olympus - apart from Zeus- was raised.

**Author's notes: **I was going to make this complete crack, but this was the original ending I had planned and I went with my gut.

I'm not writing for PJ any longer - I may update dear fan fiction writers if an idea is so to come to me but i had no plans for it now - My writing shall now mostly revolve from Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, my flame: Roy Mustang, and my lady queen: Riza Hawkeye. If you never read/watch it, I _highly _recommend it to anyone.

Sorry to keep you all waiting for two months just for this, but I just this goodbye.

I'd love to thank you for all the support, love, and fan base you've given me over the past year.

Farewell,

Taylur


End file.
